Saturday Flashback: Nick Borgen – We Are All The Winners

“That flute. That tie.”

Tim: Every other even slightly music related site is right now doing their “20 best” or “50 most underrated” or “2,517 that went under the radar” or whatever of 2015, so let’s not concern ourselves with that sort of stuff. Instead, let’s dig out the ever reliable Best Of Melodifestivalen compilation and pay a trip to this 1993 runner up, with BAGPIPES!

Tom: A brave choice, there, in a production that contains a lot of brave choices. That flute. That tie.

Tim: Oh, that tie. Elephant in the room, quickly: yes, the first lines of the verses here are the same as those of The Best, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Instead, though, I am utterly transfixed by those dancers, and the way that they are just about coordinating with each other, but don’t really mind that it isn’t perfect because they’re just having so much fun.

Tom: It’s a bit different from now, isn’t it? They’d just be hidden in the shadows at the back of the stage and replaced with some projection-mapping.

Tim: And where would be the fun in that? I say most of the time they don’t mind – the expression of the one on the left when she almost does that closing thumbs up one beat too early is a joy to behold, and you wouldn’t get that with a stick drawing. So there’s a lovely message to take into 2016: in real life, WE ARE ALL THE WINNERS, and even if we mess up the dancing a bit we’ll still manage second. I’m happy with that.

Morgan Sulele feat. Mood Melodies – Min Kabin

“Fancy a wintry brass number?”

Tim: Fancy a wintry brass number to kick off the year?

Tom: I… I can’t turn that into a euphemism.

Tim: And there we go – it’s basically “look, it’s cold and empty out there, join me in here my my cabin” which is either dodgy and a bit cultish, the desperate pleading of a lonely man, or just a nice guy who wants to offer comfort and a warm drink, and then presumably get laid at some point in the near future.

Tom: You realise none of those are really good options, right?

Tim: I do, and yet I like it nonetheless – it’s fairly nice and gentle, but with that extra brass lurking around to give a slight party atmosphere to head off the interpretation of “come snuggle on my sofa, I’m very warm you know”.

Tom: And I don’t like it: it’s very possible to make brass sound good in a pop song, but this just seems a bit too strident and out-of-place. And even in a language I don’t understand, I can hear the telltale “sha-la-la-la” that means “I’ve run out of lyrics here”.

Tim: You know, I’ve never thought about sha-la-la-las like that before, and now i’m fairly sure you’ve ruined a lot of music for me. All in all, if this didn’t have a pre-chorus that makes me want to launch right into What Makes You Beautiful, I’d be really enjoying this track, cause innit lovely.

Tom: How did I not notice that? Now you’ve said it, that’s really obvious.

The Vamps – Rest Your Love

“Congratulations on your fortuitous circumstances”

Tim: Less than two months since their last, but here’s the second track from the album; very much as enjoyable as the last, I think you’ll find.

Tim: So by my reckoning, now that The Hiatus is on, and until Busted put out new stuff (GET ON WITH IT WE ARE WAITING), these guys are pretty much the only thing going on, boyband-wise.

Tom: Wait, really? I… huh. I hadn’t realised that. Maybe 5 Seconds of Summer, even though they’re claiming they’re pop-punk? You’re right, though.

Tim: The reason I point this out? Simple: it means they get the dream team of Rami Yacoub, Carl Falk and Savan Kotecha writing tracks like this for them, and my word do they know what to do with them.

Tom: Huh. We’ve both got a completely different reaction to this track. Yep, the later choruses aren’t bad, but I’d file this under “album track”. What do you like so far?

Tim: It’s a whole lot of fun, exactly as it should be, with exactly the right balance of singing and shouting, and a very good number of woah-oh-oh-ings going on in the background.

Tom: When you put it like that: yes, I can see how it ticks all the boxes. But for me, at least, that’s all it does.

Tim: Well, TOP MARKS FROM ME, guys, and either way, congratulations on the fortuitous circumstances you currently find yourselves in.

Studio Killers – Jenny

“That third chord in the chorus”

Tim: So, you know how sometimes there’s a few weeks, or maybe sometimes month or so, between a song coming out and its video? Well, this lot have taken it to something of an extreme, finally showing the video of a song that first appeared way back in May 2013. I KNOW, RIGHT?

Tom: Hey, that’s really nicely animated. Good animation’s rare for a music video these days — that’s artistic, apt, and watchable.

Tim: And, well, that occasional accordion styling does bring back a sound from a year or so ago, but the rest of it sounds as fitting now as it did back then, and very very enjoyable as well.

Tom: I can pinpoint exactly what sold me on the track: that third chord in the chorus. I know, it’s a specific thing to point out, but it seemed to change the whole tone. Yes, the accordion’s a bit old hat these days — and I’m not sure this has all that much replay value — but this’ll do nicely.

Tim: To be honest, I’m feeling sick as a dog as I’m writing this and I have been for the past two days – somehow this has cheered me up no end, though. I think it can best be described as just fun, really, and that’s what I’ll look for in a dance track.

Tom: It’s an unusual message, interesting vocals, and great production. More like this.

Tim: Well, since you asked, we’ve had an album since then, so you may want to give that a go. Incidentally, despite what I said earlier about timing, 2013 is the single year we’ve actually never mentioned the word accordion, but my word does that search bring up some cracking tracks.

Sannie – How Long

“I can see why she chose different branding”

Tim: Well here’s fun – new artist, or rather a new name. Full name is Sannie Charlotte Carlson, aka only bloody Whigfield.

Tom: WHAT? Really?! Okay, I am immediately excited for this.

Tim: And…well, I can see why she chose different branding, because that’d be a decidedly low-key track to come from Whigfield.

Tom: Hmm. I’m not sure about low-key. It’s not bubblegum pop, I’ll grant you, but let’s be honest, Saturday Night wasn’t exactly the most exciting track to ever come along. It was — and I realise this is sacrilege — actually a bit repetitive and dull too.

Tim: Repetitive, yes, but dull? Hell no. Much as I love her for her work on Saturday Night and Last Christmas, I can’t help but think that this really is just, yeah, dull.

Tom: You forgot Big Time, but yes: it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

Tim: It does absolutely nothing for me – do you get anything from it?

Tom: To my surprise, I do. But I suspect most of that is down to the production, at least for this radio edit: it’s exciting enough to keep me interested, and that middle eight’s lovely. That said: you could put pretty much any session vocalist in her place there and it’d be much the same track. A decent mid-setlist track, but it’s not going to get anyone on the floor.

Sia – Cheap Thrills

“My first thought was kazoo”

Tom: Our reader, Russell, sends this in, adding: “The song takes a break from Sia’s typical soulful vocals and meaningful lyrics – this song focusses on fun and partying. Perhaps it could be pandering to the general population, but even if it is, I still like it.”

Tom: Mm. There’s a good song somewhere in here, but I think it’s drowned out by an instrumentation choice that sounds like an insect trapped in a bottle. (Synth? Modified vocal? Lesser-known instrument? No idea.)

Tim: Yeah, that is weird – my first thought was kazoo, however unlikely that might be. Mind you, if this face is what Sia’s been hiding from us all these years, then relative likelihood goes out of the window.

Tom: And it doesn’t help that some of the melody — coincidentally, given the timing — is uncomfortably close to the verse in Ariana Grande’s latest.

Tim: RUNNING OUT OF MUSIC, Tom.

Tom: “I love cheap thrills” is a pretty good shoutalong chant; the melody’s pretty good; the vocals are, of course, great. But the whole package just isn’t up to much.

Tim: Nope – and with both Bang My Head and Alive still doing the rounds on radio stations, this really doesn’t stick out that well.

Kylie Minogue – Christmas Isn’t Christmas ‘Til You Get Here

“FINALLY, WE’VE MADE IT THROUGH.”

Tom: ANOTHER one?

Tim: Yes indeed, another new Christmas original from Kylie. PREVIOUSLY: Only You, a well-meaning and enjoyable but ultimately unnecessary cover; 100 Degrees, a lyrically misjudged disco anthem thirty years too late; and Every Day’s Like Christmas, a festive dance track that you reckoned was missing a special something. Finally, though: the Christmas ballad.

Tom: Oh. Huh. That’s… actually really good. I wasn’t expecting the fourth single to be any good.

Tim: Yeah – I’ve no idea who came up with the release order, or what they were thinking, because this, actually, is the first one of them that I can imagine ending up on Christmas compilation CDs in years hence (or, more likely, curated playlists on your local music streaming service).

Tom: I can’t work out which bits are chorus, pre-chorus and middle eight, but you know what? I don’t care. That key change makes up for any flaws: this is the very first Christmas track you’ve sent me this year that I’ve actually played more than once.

Tim: Oh, you have MADE MY DAY. FINALLY, WE’VE MADE IT THROUGH – I almost want to plan a street party in Kylie’s honour. But, this for the future: it has a sense of timelessness that the others didn’t really get, it’ll sit pleasingly alongside All I Want For Christmas Is You and One More Sleep with that same “Christmas is best with loved ones” message, and, most of all, it’s got ALL THE JINGLINESS. And that is very important for a Christmas compilation.

Tom: You know what? I won’t say it’s a full-on, armour-piercing dose of Christmas spirit, but you know what? I think it’s the closest we’re going to get this year.

Tim: Oh, I’m so happy you’ve reached at least that level of qualified approval. Because given all though pleasing qualities it’s one I’ll happily listen to again, this year, and the next, and the next, and so on.

Tom: As, I suspect, will I. Merry Christmas, Tim.

Tim: MERRY CHRISTMAS TOM!

Si Cranston – A Christmas Twist

“I put the video in a background tab and suddenly it wasn’t a bad song.”

Tim: CHRISTMAS EVE, so it’s late night Christmas parties for some, including me, and here’s a fun one to get the party stated.

Tom: Oh blimey, that’s a terrible video. Let me explain: I was about to absolutely slate this song, and write a whole bit about how you’d ruined Christmas by sending this — but in order to do that, I put the video in a background tab and suddenly it wasn’t a bad song.

Tim: Yes alright, I will give you that – the video is indeed awful. And yet, although I only heard this for the first time a couple of days ago, the song itself has pretty quickly jumped up the list of my favourite Christmas songs, because OH THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT – it’s right there throughout, music, party stylings and lyrics alike.

Tom: I guess I just can’t quite get over just how much that singer looks like a used car salesman. (At least, in this video: he’s probably quite nice in person.) Plus, there’s the slightly creepy synchronised dance with the weird flappy-hand movements.

Tim: Hmm, maybe this should have come with a video warning then. I would nitpick the lyrics by saying that “there won’t be any tears if we just open up our hearts” is about as far from the truth as you could possibly get in most extended family gatherings, but other lines like “now’s the time for us all to bring it all together and party party” with an instruction to “get your festive fix” really can’t be faulted for their intention.

Tom: That middle eight is dire – that would have sounded cheesy in the era they’re ripping off, let alone half a century later.

Tim: Again, yes, also a thought I had – I’m not a fan of it. But then comes the ending, and what a perfect ending! No repeat to fade, no gradual tonight down of the instruments, just a trumpet and bell chime and you’re done, with just one thought left in your head: Merry Christmas Everyone.

Tom: Two thoughts: wishing everyone a merry Christmas, and a strange desire to buy some teeth-whitener.

Michael Fannon – Första Julen Utan Dig

“Forget that you ever heard The Who’s Baba O’Reilly.”

Tim: Before you press play, one request: please forget that you ever heard The Who’s Baba O’Reilly.

Tom: Oh. Oh dear, that’s either a very unfortunate coincidence or someone really hoping no-one’ll notice.

Tim: To be honest, I’m verging towards the first, because I can’t believe anybody would deliberately use a line that often and think they won’t get noticed.

But, trying to ignore that that the entirety of the piano backing line, through the whole song, is identical to the intro of a fairly well known and recognisable song (and the middle eight is that, note for note), how are we finding that then?

Tom: See, the melody on top of it — those vocals — are really lovely. Perhaps it’s because I was expecting something much slower and energetic (I can’t think why) — those urgent, heartfelt vocals worked for me. And again with that middle eight: yep, the backing I’ve heard before, but everything on top of it was great.

Tim: Title translates as First Christmas Without You, though I’m not sure if that’s something to commiserate or to celebrate – the music certainly suggests the latter, because it’s very much major key, up and about, proper party style, and to be honest I’m all for that. You said that yesterday’s track had “just the right amount of bells” – has this overdone it for you? I really do hope not, because I LOVE the amount.

Tom: It’s not bad at all: close to overplaying them, but it’ll do nicely. Apart from the fact, obviously, that it’s riffing even more strongly on the Who than One Direction did.

Tim: Cockup or conspiracy in this case, I say, so basically I’ll describe as excellent bellage.

Kevin Walker – Christmas Nights

“It doesn’t quite hit home as much as I think it could do.”

Tim: Remember Christmas Is Here? A properly saccharine Christmas track that hits every single emotional button there is, and which wouldn’t do anywhere near as well if it had a male vocalist. Well.

Tom: That’s some beautiful scenery there, although the director’s intention seems to be “make sure the audience knows we can afford to hire a drone”.

Tim: And what else have we got: massive soaring emotional notes, YEP. Lyrics that couldn’t be more melty if they lived in a furnace, YEP. An image that Christmas can make things right, YEP. And yet, somehow, it doesn’t quite hit home as much as I think it could do.

Tom: Yep: maybe it’s just that video, but it just leaves me a bit cold. Yes, you can have by-the-numbers songs that can absolutely floor you emotionally — but this isn’t one of them.

Tim: Much as Kevin was a very worthy Idol winner and does have an excellent voice, I can’t help feeling that female vocals may well have me breaking down in tears. OH MY GOOD SHE JUST LOVES HIM SO MUCH AND THE LIFE WILL BE PERFECT AWWWWW – you know, that sort of thing.

Tom: Rather you than me, mate.

Tim: Well, in any case, opportunity missed, I feel.