Ricky Martin – Vida

“Strumming guitars! Summery drums! Actual foreign!”

Tim: Football!

Tom: Really?

Tim: I know, sorry. But you’ll forgive me once you hear this, a track off the official album of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.

Tom: I think my first reaction is “crikey, Ricky Martin’s still going”.

Tim: Oh yes – 42 and he’s still got all of it. Strumming guitars! Summery drums! Actual foreign!

Tom: “Actual foreign”? Let’s not forget that Livin’ La Vida Loca came in two versions, complete with near-identical videos.

Tim: What a partying, beachy, summery track this is, and the video makes it abundantly clear that that is precisely what it’s meant to be.

Tom: Yep. It’s basically the last World Cup song, “This Time For Africa“, only filtered through a Latin American lens.

Tim: What with it being his second turn at doing an official World Cup song, it’s hard not to compare it to The Cup of Life, and I think it stands up very well indeed. A great track, for a competition I would otherwise do my best to avoid.

Tom: It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s good to know that they’re following the true meaning of modern sport: product placement.

Tim: Right – who’d have thought that Sony makes a phone that’s waterproof?

Ktree feat. Robin Stjernberg & Flo Rida – Thunderbolt

The producer, the talent, and the other bit.

Tim: Typically, when I see a song, I’ll listen to it before deciding whether or not we should review it; it may be dull, awful, or entirely unremarkable. Here, though, with Melodifestivalen winner Robin Stjernberg on the same track as professional musical dick Flo Rida, I’m fairly sure that, whatever we think, it won’t be entirely unremarkable.

Tom: Much like Cher Lloyd and Demi Lovato, that’s an international pairing that I’d never have expected — but which makes sense. Does it sound as good?

Tim: And as it turns out it’s mostly pretty good – we have Ktree (from Germany), the producer. Robin, the talent.

Tom: And what talent — from both of them, too. Robin’s got the voice for a song like that, and Ktree’s production is just incredible: that build is just astonishing. And then…

Tim: Flo Rida, the other bit. And just what is that other bit? Really? Because to be honest, it’s hard to think right now of anything that sounds quite so, well, just wrong (aside from possibly the lack of a chorus in Dark Horse, which gets me every time I hear it).

Tom: Not only that, who puts a camera that expensive into sand?!

Tim: It’s thirteen seconds of almost entirely unintelligible nonsense – I don’t know who wrote it, or what the point of it is. There’s are mumblings about bitches, shawdy and supermodels, which is basically what you’d get if you stuck him in a bingo machine and plucked parts of him out at random. The vast majority of me suspects it was only there to attach a big name to this – in fact, call me cynical, but I’d put quite a bit of money on this being the case.

Tom: Agreed. Note that they couldn’t afford to get him in for the video either: at no point does he actually lipsync. Maybe they just took some of his outtakes and shoved them into a track?

Tim: Wouldn’t actually surprise me. All that aside, though, this is a pretty great track – great vocals, the howling of which is becoming of a trademark for Robin, and a decent production underneath. It’s all good, really, with the exception of those thirteen seconds.

Cher Lloyd – Sirens

“Light years away from the dodgy pseudo-rap she’s tried on the past.”

Tim: God only knows why, but Cher Lloyd has actually become somewhat successful over in America – if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because they didn’t see her personality on The X Factor (bit harsh, sorry).

Tom: I had to apologise for Cher Lloyd to an American friend of mine recently. What’s she got this time?

Tim: This, the lead track from her new album.

Tim: And actually, that’s why she’s successful. Isn’t it very Demi Lovato-esque indeed?

Tom: Good grief, yes. And it’s light years away from the dodgy pseudo-rap she’s tried on the past.

Tim: So much so that I do often think it’s going to splurge off into Skyscraper at one point in the chorus. It’s not all that surprising – if you’re going to model yourself after a young female pop star, Demi’s a very good choice, and Cher was a featured artist on a track on Demi’s most recent album.

Tom: Oh! That’s some very good management work indeed.

Tim: What we have here is a vastly more mature track than the previous crap we’ve heard, and much as I’m surprising myself by saying this, I really like it. It’s not quite amazing, but there’s certainly a lot of potential, and it’s actually making me want to listen to her second album when it arrives in a month. I’m surprised, but I’m definitely not disappointed.

Saturday Reject: State of Drama – All We Are

“Three great things about the song.”

Tim: You may remember a while back I said my top four Andra Chansen songs came in the top five; this here was number 5.

Tim: The old “don’t bore us, get to the chorus” adage is clearly something they take seriously, which is a good thing because the chorus is by far and away the best of the three great things about the song.

Tom: And the other two?

Tim: Well, without the chorus we’d still have the key change and loudhailer gimmick, but as it is we have all three, and they all come together a great track.

Tom: He does appear to be genuinely using the loudhailer too, which is… well, it’s something.

Tim: Lyrically it’s basically “we’re young people, we get pissed and party, we’re awesome” which, well, it’s not particularly endearing, but it’s at least something most people will have identified with at some point in their lives. Musically, it gives a very similar impression, and all summed up it’s a schlager-rock track that’ll suit me very well.

Tom: If I’m honest: that middle eight completely loses it for me, and even with a key change and a three-minute duration it seems to go on a bit.

Tim: Hmm, now you mention the middle eight, it does somewhat break the momentum; I reckon it hangs together well enough throughout the three minutes, though.

Tom: It’s probably not a Eurovision track, but it didn’t deserve to do too badly.

Tim: As indeed it didn’t. Nice one.

Ellie Goulding – Beating Heart

“Musically I don’t think I can really fault it.”

Tim: Divergent, a film released last month. Beating Heart, the second single to come from the soundtrack. This, the lyric video because the clips from the film in it are a bit more interesting than the ones in the full video.

Tom: Man, there are a lot of young-adult dystopia books being turned into films right now, aren’t there?

Tim: Oh, this is just the first of a trilogy. And this accompanying it is a very very good Ellie Goulding track. Slightly, um, interesting metaphors in the lyrics (departure lounge of disbelief, anyone?), but musically I don’t think I can really fault it.

Tom: It’s a Soundtrack Song: not going to light up the charts, but it’ll work over the closing credits.

Tim: I’m still a real sucker for her voice, and paired with that big (though admittedly not, by her standards, huge) chorus it sounds just wonderful.

Tom: It is a really distinctive voice, and a perfect match for that chorus — although I’m not sure about “big”.

Tim: Often when I write about a song I’ll just listen to it once or twice before thinking “right, that’s enough”; here I’m ion to my fifth listen already and it’s showing no signs of getting old whatsoever. It’s a great addition to the Goulding catalogue, and I reckon everyone involved should be proud of it.

Darin feat. Prophet of 7Lions – Mamma Mia

“It feels a bit like a dodgy summer track from ten years ago.”

Tim: There are a lot of football songs doing the rounds at the moment (apparently there’s some competition or thing happening soon); this isn’t one of them, but it does sound like it could be one.

Tom: “7Lions?” Huh. Three ought to be enough for anyone.

Tim: Not bad that, is it?

Tom: It’s not bad, but it’s not good.

Tim: Oh.

Tom: Why’s it a football song?

Tim: Well, it just seems to have a fairly summery, active, sporty vibe to it. Kicks off (ha) fairly early, calms down for some not particularly inspiring verses, but then comes back with a nice pairing of pre-chorus and proper chorus, carrying a decent hook and all in all being a fairly decent track.

Tom: It’s good enough, I suppose, but it feels a bit like a dodgy summer track from ten years ago — even down to the dodgy rap bridge.

Tim: It’s not a Nobody Knows or (obviously) a Lovekiller, but it’s very enjoyable, nice and summery and would be a pretty great soundtrack to some sort of sporting activity. I think.

Barbados – Förlåt

“I got exactly what I expected, and I was grinning for it as well.”

Tim: Barbados, a dansband group that have been going for a couple of decades now, and are here with a new schlager-infested tune, their first since 2011.

Tom: “Schlager-infested”. Nice choice of words there.

Tom: Oh crikey, they’re entirely the right words there.

Tim: Aren’t they just? It’s a whole lot of fun, that is. Admittedly, basically straight out of ten years ago, but then dansband has never really been about sounding modern, and let’s face it, it’s often all the better for it.

Tom: Agreed. I knew what was going to happen, I got exactly what I expected, and I was grinning for it as well.

Tim: We have a key change —

Tom: — technically several, I think, since I think there’s a modulation between each verse and chorus —

Tim: Fair point, and we have RIGID song structure. Textbook stuff, and exactly as enjoyable as said textbookness it guaranteed to make it. Not incredible, but not remotely disappointing. Put it on, jump around stupidly, have fun, until you forget that that sudden ending’s coming and you fall over in shock.

Tom: Damn right. It’s by-the-numbers, but what wonderful numbers.

Anna Abreu – Ra-ta ta-ta

“That is a stunningly bad first verse.”

Tim: Imagine someone singing a snare drum. That’s basically the chorus of Anna’s latest.

Tom: That is a stunningly bad first verse. “This is my update two point oh” would have been dated ten years ago, but now? Eugh.

Tim: Yes, a distinctly uneasy first verse (and second, but it’s okay then because you know what’s coming), but then there’s a pre-chorus that’s totally great —

Tom: Oh heavens yes. That pre-chorus is easily the best part of the song.

Tim: — and a chorus that’s unusual and possibly gimmicky the first time out, growing on you the second time and then when it’s back at the end with the electric guitar underneath? Well that’s just wonderful. PLAY IT AGAIN PLEASE. Oh, there’s a button that does that already.

Tom: Mm. I’ll admit that it did grow on me, and with a few more listens I’d probably get over the gimmick. If someone could build a song just out of that pre-chorus I’d be very happy indeed.

Tim: If only there was a button that chopped the last quarter out of the middle eight. Because we could go STRAIGHT BACK TO THAT CHORUS.

The Voice and the Snake – Children of the Sun

“Pet Shop Boys album track.”

Tom: Our reader, Michelle, sends us this bit of synthpop, writing: “It’s got a very Pet Shop Boys melodic chorus hook, and the general tone also brings to mind Depeche Mode and Colony 5.”

Tim: Sounds fun. Anything else of note?

Tom: You might know the producer, Ricardo Autobahn, from the Golden Age of Video.

Tim: I remember that! It was very entertaining. I have high hopes for this.

Tom: Michelle’s right: it’s got a very Pet Shop Boys style about it — but it’s a “Pet Shop Boys album track”. I was all ready to dismiss it, but then that guitar (or perhaps even keytar, who knows?) came in for the middle eight, and suddenly I found myself rather liking it.

Tim: I actually really liked it from the get go, but that might be because I’ve been watching back to back episodes of 24 all day and so am in a rather excitable mood. To be honest I’d be good with anything that’s vaguely energetic, which this is, in spades. Helpfully melodic and well produced as well, which just added to it.

Tom: I was ready for that final chorus to be explosive, though, and didn’t quite get there: it was like the track had been dialled back down. Missed opportunity, I think, but all in all not a bad track.

Tim: There, I will agree with you – that was the one disappointing moment, which is a shame because it’s that single moment that has the potential to be jaw-dropping as well. Still, the rest of it, right from the first notes, is very good, so I won’t complain about that.

Saturday Reject: Destan – Sans Toi

“It’s not bad as a Typical Boyband Ballad.”

Tim: Destan, a French boyband comprising Dean, Killian and Quentin, who’ve been around since last summer, and who presumably hoped Eurovision would be a platform for international success; that’s not to be, unfortunately, but they had a good go with this.

Tom: Ooh, check out the Big Piano Intro.

Tim: Big indeed. This was, clearly, written to be an international song – not only with some of the lyrics in English (switching mid-sentence at one point), but right through to filming the video in London —

Tom: I’ve been in that beigel shop.

Tim: — and a chorus that’s three quarters identical to the Canadian I Believe; I’m willing to stay away from yelling deliberate rip-off, though, as that’s a great feel-good build line that’d be hard for a songwriter to let go of however it occurred to them.

Tom: Aye, and it’s not bad as a Typical Boyband Ballad. I don’t think it’ll be leaping up the charts over here, though.

Tim: Probably not, no. We don’t like the French, after all. As for the band themselves, well, they’re Dean, Killian and Quentin who met in a recording studio and got put together by a producer who saw their potential. They’ve got one previously release, Vole, and, naturally with the instruments, they don’t like being called a boyband, seeing themselves closer to The Calling and, erm, The Script. Good luck with that, then.

Tom: They’ll have one of them fronting The Voice of France in no time.

Tim: Oh, see now I just want to listen to Malena Ernman. Let’s all listen to Malena Ernman.