The Sound of Arrows – Conquest

…it’s beautiful.

Tim: This video contains BOOBIES, but it’s meant to be artistic so that’s alright.

Tom: That’s still enough to get it banned from YouTube. That’s what Vimeo’s for.

Tom: Is this featuring Jean Michel Jarre? Because that opening is straight out of Oxygene.

Tim: Not as far as I know, but anyway, it’s ESSAY TIME!

Tom: Oops. Sorry. I’ll settle down.

Tim: Now, I love these guys. Their album is one of the best I’ve heard in a long long time, and I don’t think I’ve ever gone even a week without listening to them. But to be honest, I’m a tad disappointed here, and that’s a shame. Partly because there are some vastly better tracks than this on the album (though it should go without saying that I still think it’s great), and secondly, and mostly, because that video really is…well, it’s a pile of pretentious wank, isn’t it? I mean, seriously, what’s going on?

Tom: I don’t know – but my first reaction isn’t to immediately dismiss it, which is strange for me. My first reaction is that this is a beautiful video. That’s the word that came to mind. Beautiful. The combination of music, colour, and absolutely gorgeous cinematography… it’s beautiful.

Tim: Oh, yes, it’s a lovely piece of work, I won’t deny that. It’s just… what is it?

The thing is, The Sound of Arrows are, without a doubt, one of the most, erm, sincere groups around. Is that the word I mean? Basically, they treat their music like art – the album is actually an album rather than a collection of songs, what with the way they go together and have an order they should be played in. The videos they make have something to them where you can tell that effort has been made into putting them together, so they go with the song in an almost cinematic manner.

Tom: And let’s not forget the music: this, with its proper synth line, has hit me a lot harder than anything they’ve brought out before. I didn’t just throw this away as glurgy, Owl City, bleep-bloop soft rubbish… it’s a fantastic track. I can’t think of what it reminds me of, other than Jean Michel Jarre.

Tim: It is indeed fantastic, as has been almost all of their output. And this is sort of nitpicking, really, because I wouldn’t analyse anyone else’s videos like this. I’m doing it BECAUSE I CARE.

Previously, we had Nova, with its message of huge devotion and adoration, and the video shows the two of them exploring this fantastic cave, always looking for what’s coming next and gazing brilliantly at what’s already happening. Then there was Magic, with the theme of how fantastic the world is, and the video showing kids exploring it, always finding new ways to have fun and enjoy themselves. Wonders was looking back at past times, with a video (which got put up after we discussed it) filled with clips shot and fiddled with to look dated compared with the filming of them singing. And then there’s this, which is…what? Am I missing something? Because I just don’t get it. And I hate that.

Tom: I think, for the first time, I do get it. Not in a meaningful sense, but some of the feelings and emotions they’re trying to get across. That’s a strange feeling for me.

Tim: I guess you’re right. I suppose I just want something a bit more obvious, really.

But regardless of all that, buy the album. Just, buy it. You owe it to yourself.

Alexandra Burke – Let It Go

“Actually that’s quite good.”

Tom: So, she’s had danceable girl power anthems (Broken Heels), full-on power ballads (The Silence), and a dozen other styles besides: what’s this next one? Why, it’s a SUMMER ANTHEM CHOON, of course.

Tim: Oh, haven’t we had enough of them already?

Tom: Well, it’s almost June – I’m surprised we haven’t heard more. I haven’t heard anything that’d count as “The Summer’s Floorfiller” yet – this year’s Cee-Lo or Black Eyed Peas.

Tim: True – a lot of the ones that come our way, though, seem to be disappointingly generic and not really worth discussing (though that last one does at least have an interesting chorus, lyrically speaking). But hey, let’s give this a go.

Tim: Actually that’s quite good – different enough not to be totally generic.

Tom: There’s a video that gets the product placement in early. Also, London Underground FACT: that tube carriage scene will have been filmed in a stationary carriage well away from any moving trains. Which is a shame, because frankly Alexandra Burke ripping off her clothes would greatly improve any tube ride I was on.

Tim: Or, indeed, pretty much any situation at all.

Tom: And as our Dubstep Watch continues: we’re now seeing our first Failed Dubstep Middle Eight. Not enough bass, not enough oomph, not enough anything: it’s like the electricity in the studio cut off and someone had to put another 50p in the meter. Which is a shame, really, because up until then it was a decent track.

Tim: You think? I’d say it works alright – sort of like a quick break in the middle for people to catch their breath, should they need to. Of course, if that’s not what they were going for then yes, it’s failed.

Tom: Not quite another Broken Heels, but it’ll do.

Chiddy Bang feat. Icona Pop – Mind Your Manners

…well, now that’ll do very nicely.

Tom: Yesterday, I described Icona Pop’s new single as “not much of a song”. Earlier this year, I reviewed Chiddy Bang’s first single, (I’m) Ray Charles, with the three-word phrase “no you’re not”.

What I’m trying to say is this: on their own, I haven’t liked what I’ve heard from either of these artists. But together…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GYe7LqTnTE

Tom: …well, now that’ll do very nicely.

Tim: Sort of – from the first second I saw those guys in white holding what might have been on first glance paintball guns, I was hoping there’d be some MASSIVE PAINT MASSACRE. Even though they were cameras. But they could still have been guns as well.

Tom: Both the song and its video seem to be happy but mostly incomprehensible. I don’t really mind that I don’t understand them, though; I’m too busy being caught up in what is a spectacularly infectious tune. Sometimes, simple and repetitive works.

Tim: Yes – unfulfilled video expectations aside, I can’t really fault this. The whole ‘there is no-one like me’ that seems to NEVER STOP just works really for me, and I like it. Would I like it as much without the video? Not quite as much, probably, but I still would.

Tom: By their powers combined: they’ve made a good track.

Icona Pop – I Love It

At least it doesn’t outstay its welcome.

Tom: Bit of moderate swearing in this one, just to warn our reader.

Tim: Prude. But actually, before we get going, I’ll be honest. Writing yesterday’s review, I wasn’t at my best, and felt somewhat lacklustre. But then I happened to come across this again, which appeared a couple of weeks ago, and which I never really got at the time.

Tom: I don’t really get it now.

Tim: Well, I sort of do. I won’t say the obvious, because I don’t, but it is pretty damn good. Why? Well, if I were back at school and that question was in a test and demanded an essay, I’d begin with something like: To answer that question, first we must consider why it is I don’t love it.

Tom: What?

Tim: I’d continue in that vein, blathering on, but basically making the point that what with tune being practically non-existent and the lyrics consisting of a four-line verse, repeating three times…

Tom: (A verse that seems a bit too inspired by the horrible Boom Boom Pow, if you ask me.)

Tim: …a second mini-verse repeated twice and a chorus made of a whole six words, the song barely qualifies to be described as such.

Tom: Only about two and a half minutes as well – at least it doesn’t outstay its welcome too much.

Tim: The thing is: that’s exactly what it should be. It’s not about singing, or making music, or caring about anything. It’s about acting as you would in the scenario set out in that very first line: “I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.” To whit, sod everything else, let’s have some fun without the crap boyfriend and shout about it. And that’s it, really.

Tom: Which is all fair enough, but well, it’s still not much of a song.

Tim: No. No it isn’t.

Ola – I’m In Love

Stunningly mediocre.

Tim: At the risk of influencing your view, I’m going to come straight out and say that I find this stunningly mediocre. But let’s discuss it anyway.

Tom: That introduction is nicely, and then… then he starts singing.

Tim: It’s not the greatest, is it? But you see, if we split it up, we have the opening bits, being boring, dull and autotuned to the point of musical extinction. We move to the chorus, which starts to improve, and then as the chorus reaches its peak it could be described as pretty good.

Tom: The whuy-uy-uy bits don’t work for me, but I’ll admit that the main bit of the (long) chorus isn’t bad.

Tim: Catchy, perhaps (though it’s worth noting that a lot of truly horrific songs are quite catchy too).

Tom: The verses really start to grate for me after a while. The backing is a bit too monotonous, the melody a bit dirge-like – even the good bit of the chorus can’t push it above average.

Tim: True – overall, it sort of averages out, to, well, average, but while it alters a bit over time, getting gradually better and more lifelike, it never really manages to do anything special.

So now that’s done, let’s move on to the next one.

Saturday Reject: Ulrik Munther – Soldiers

Blimey, when that kicks in, it kicks in hard.

Tim: Unlike Lisa Miskovsky a couple of weeks back, here you can hear Ulrik playing his instruments, and then coming third. With quite a good song.

Tom: Blimey, when that kicks in, it kicks in hard. Put the drummer on a stand, and make him work for his pay.

Tim: Now, I really like this, despite a lot of reasons not to – the melody’s not much more than average, the hate and sleeveless top make him look like a bit of a bell-end and the hands-free harmonica sort of makes me want to slap his ‘look at what I can do’ attitude.

Tom: Agreed on all points.

Tim: But on the other hand, the drumming in the background adds a lot to the song, that harmonica sounds great even if it looks silly, and the vocal’s pretty great as well. So really, the best thing for me to do is listen to this but not watch it. Which, of course, would make this a terrible type of song to send to Eurovision.

Tom: I do wonder how many Eurovisions would have turned out differently if they’d been purely on the radio.

Tim: Well, Lordi can kiss goodbye to their victory for a start. And a hell of a lot of wind-machine manufacturers would go out of business.

Poppy and the Jezebels – Sign In, Dream On, Drop Out

Slightly quirky vocals, bouncy electronica backing, and a liking for retro-styling.

Tom: A female electronica trio with slightly quirky vocals, bouncy electronica backing, and a liking for retro-styling. Yep, it’s the Pipettes. No, sorry. It’s “Poppy and the Jezebels”, apparently.

Tim: Decent enough name.

Tom: Now I’ve made the comparison, though, I can’t help but think of them as a less catchy version of the Pipettes. I can’t really think of anything else to add: there’s nothing wrong with it, I just keep expecting something to set them apart. It’s all… nice.

Tim: Well, it is quite catchy – chorus certainly goes on long enough to make it so. It’s a good chorus, though it’s let down by the fact that despite concentrating very hard, I’m entirely unable to make out the first line of it. And that annoys me, because a song like this is one I want to sing along to when I’m feeling chirpy.

Tom: I do find myself constantly distracted during the video by the fact they haven’t got their placards in order. I shouldn’t find that annoying, but I do.

Tim: Not as annoying as you would have found the three guys at the Scooter gig I went to at the weekend that held up signs with “HARDER”, “SCOOTER”, and “FASTER” on them. In that order.

Tom: GAH. I cringed, Tim, and I wasn’t even there.

AWOLNATION – Jump On My Shoulders

“This is, quite simply, fantastic.”

Tom: Any listeners with sensitive ears: watch out for a quick F-bomb at the end of this one.

Tim: Ooh, they missed an apostrophe in there. That’s not good.

Tom: “Thats not good”, surely? Anyway, reader Isabella writes in with this one and adds: “This is, quite simply, fantastic.” A bold statement.

Tim: Bold indeed, but certainly an acceptable viewpoint. Any further thoughts?

Tom: Well, she’s also sent a well-written summary of the song that more-or-less matches with my thoughts, so I’ll quote it here:

“I can best describe the verses as ‘biting’ but the unbelievably poppy chorus reaches stratospheric heights (just WAIT until the beat of the first one kicks in) and the full-on screaming near the end actually enhances the effect rather than feeling out-of-place.”

Tim: Do you know, that pretty much matches my views as well.

Tom: It’s a cracking chorus. Now, I think that she’s being charitable with ‘biting’, that the Keynotes-esque follow-the-bouncing-ball effect on the lyrics does the band no favours at all—

Tim: Nor does the apostrophe they missed, although I like what they did with the ‘jump on my shoulders’.

Tom: —and the middle eight overstays its welcome a bit… but this is a proper anthemic singalong track, and I can forgive them all that.

Tim: Yeah. And although after a minute and a half or so it felt like it would have to drag on a lot, it really didn’t when it played out. Good stuff.

Pitbull – Back In Time

And now he’s gone and done something brilliant.

Tom: So yesterday, I ranted about Pitbull. And now he’s gone and done something brilliant. I don’t know what to think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIDwgpBh0Aw

Tim: Hmm. I think…’brilliant’? Really?

Tom: I listened to this back to back several times. There are very few songs that make me do that. Anyway, this is the song for Men In Black 3. To say that he’s got a tough act to follow is an understatement: the original film brought us, well, Will Smith’s “Men In Black”. I shouldn’t like this. But I do. I think it’s more to do with the background.

Tim: There, you could be right, because it is good. Not brilliant, I think, but positive, certainly.

Tom: He’s sampling a track from 1972 called “Love Is Strange”, and oh my word is he ever improving it. He’s kept the good bits of the original – that beautiful chord progression and voice – but modernised it with a decent pace and beat. It’s not sacrilege: it’s a massive improvement.

Tim: Agreed. If you’re choosing to sample that song, this is a good way of doing it, paying it decent service. It’s far, far better than it could have been.

Tom: Now, it’s not as good as Will Smith’s original. No-one’s going to be singing this in the playgrounds. (I remember kids singing the original, or at least a dirty version of it, in my school’s playground.) But is it good? Hell yes. Even the unexpected dubstep background works for me.

Tim: Me too. God, I’m really starting to like that stuff now.

Tom: Maybe it’s because the film is ridiculous, the music is ridiculous, and Pitbull is ridiculous. He just fits. I can live with that.

Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull – Dance Again

The chorus is just glorious.

Tom: Let this one run, Tim, the chorus is just glorious.

Tim: You know, I wish you’d given me a bit of notice that we were going to turn in into to one of those sites, because I’ve got some much better videos than that one.

Tom: There is a lot of flesh in this video. Unfortunately, too much of it is Pitbull’s. I… I don’t understand Pitbull. I mean, I don’t understand anything about him. I swear he’s a parody artist that’s somehow been taken seriously. Look at the first few seconds of him in this video. Just look at him.

Tim: Oh, come on. You’re trying to tell me you’ve never once used the words “Shimmy shimmy yo shimmy sham shimmy yay” in a conversation?

Tom: He describes himself as a “modern day Hugh Hefner”. With a pencil moustache.

Tim: The moustache, I’ll give you. The Hefner thing, well, it does at least fit with all his pervy mutterings as he skulks in the corner.

Tom: I don’t know what to think about this track. The rap bit is terrible, the strange breakdown in the middle is appalling, and yet. And yet. There’s that absolutely gorgeous chorus. That’s the best chorus I’ve heard in a long while.

Tim: It is a cracker, and I actually don’t have a problem with Pitbull here. A lot of rapping in songs, I hate. But this just seems to work for me, or at least not ruin it, mainly because compared to that chorus and the rest of it, he just seem…unimportant, really, not actually doing much aside from the occasional murmuring.

Tom: Oh, come on, he’s got entire verses, not to mention the introduction. Actually, you know what I want? I want this song performed by “Jennifer Lopez Not Featuring Pitbull”.

Tim: In that case, I will offer you my full sympathies, understanding and support for any campaign you pursue, because eighteen months on I still haven’t got over the Flo Rida/Saturdays debacle.