Sia – Santa’s Coming For Us

“I don’t want to press play on a new Sia track and hear a jazz track from last century.”

Tim: Well, that’s an ominous title.

Tom: Blimey, it is and all, isn’t it? Anyway, as I mentioned the other day, Sia’s got a Christmas album out, and here’s the lead single from it.

Tom: Full marks for a video where I said “wait, is that…” multiple times.

Tim: Now, I hate – absolutely despise – the fact that in terms of classic Christmas songs, and as we found out with Avril Lavigne, America has never really got past the 1950s. White Christmas, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Baby It’s Cold Outside, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, all stuck in the middle of last century, and so a massive, massive proportion of modern Christmas songs over there feel they have to take that sound and run with it.

In Britain we got a resurgence in the 70’s and 80’s and now pretty much anything goes; Scandinavia’s got people chucking out new ones every year as a matter of course; but America’s never properly moved on. I don’t want to press play on a new Sia track and hear a jazz track from last century, with a video that’s seemingly designed to look like a 1980s sitcom, I want a modern track.

Tom: The 1980s sitcom, I don’t mind, I think this is actually a bit more modern than you give it credit for — I think you may have just forgotten that “last century” is now 17 years ago.

Tim: No, but this is 1950s stuff. I also want more that just one line repeated six times in the chorus – man, Sia’s meant to be one of the greatest songwriter’s around right now, so why have Hanson – bloody Hanson – managed to produce a better track?

Tom: And there you’ve got a very strong point. The phrase “cynical cash-in” is wafting through the air somewhere, but I couldn’t possibly comment.

Avril Lavigne & Jonny Blue – Baby It’s Cold Outside

“BOOM QUIET NOW I MUST SING OVER YOU.”

Tom: I know this song is problematic, to say the least. I know there’s debate over whether the lyrics are really creepy or actually charming in context. I know that it’s been deconstructed plenty of times.

Tim: My biggest problem with it is that, like all traditional American Christmas songs that date from the 1950s, it’s just really quite boring.

Tom: Well, there is the Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews version, which I once heard described as “Grandad seducing Minnie Mouse”.

Tim: Well then that’s now on my ‘watch later’ list, but is this one a bit interesting?

Tom: This version — which is startling traditional version, given the words “Avril Lavigne” there — is the most frustrating song I’ve heard in a while.

Tom: Why is Jonny Blue always starting his line early? Avril’s barely got two words into her bar before BOOM QUIET NOW I MUST SING OVER YOU. It’s a duet, not a bloody competition.

Tim: Yeah, it does kind of remind me of the Battle round on The Voice – ostensibly to judge who can sound better in a duet, but quickly degrades into a shouting match which isn’t really pleasant for anyone. This isn’t so bad, but your point still stands. And they haven’t even really made it interesting.

Nicki French – Very Christmas

“Tom, I think…I think I’ve got you feeling festive.”

Tim: Nicki, star of that amazing Total Eclipse Of The Heart cover and Eurovision 2000, has joined Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson and Sia in the list of ‘brilliant female soloists who have a Christmas album out this year’.

Tom: Quick question about this video: what’s the bloke in the background strumming on a guitar doing?

Tim: Just having a laugh, I think – it is, after all, “just a happy holiday”. And speaking of the video, in case you’re looking at that 5:38 running time with a look of horror on your face, you can safely start at 0:36 and switch it off after 3:40, as this is an extended version.

Tim: Hey, it’s festive 90’s dance pop! Or, alternatively, music that every year I try to persuade my parents to listen to, and every year without fail get utterly shot down.

Tom: Or even more alternatively, “the cash-in record”! This is the first one for this season that sounds exactly like someone’s just cobbled togeth… ah, damn it, my foot’s tapping. What the hell have you done, Tim?

Tim: Tom, I think…I think I’ve got you feeling festive. Let’s play this loud right now, and dance around like we just don’t care about anything except ALL THE FESTIVITIES. There’s not a huge amount to say about this, really, except that this is exactly what I would expect a Nicki French Christmas song to sound like, and is very enjoyable for it. Agree?

Tom: Yes. I agree. I don’t actually want to listen to it again, but I agree.

Jasmine Kara – Dear Mr Santa

“Basically she’s just asking Santa for a plane ticket.”

Tim: In which Jasmine sings a lot about snow, but seemingly doesn’t have the budget to do fake snow in the video. Oh well.

Tom: Sometimes the title of a song puts me off. This is one of those times.

Tom: Huh, that’s actually a half-decent song, despite the constant irritating sleigh bells that never go away once you notice them. You can stop them for a while, producer, we know it’s a Christmas track.

Tim: Now while the lyrics here would traditionally be interpreted as “we broke up, but I wish we were back together” in the standard lovey dovey vibe I mentioned yesterday, it’s apparently meant to be taken more literally – she’s stuck in America, her boyfriend’s in Sweden, and basically she’s just asking Santa for a plane ticket. Not quite as romantic, but thoroughly practical, so I’m fully on board (ha, accidental plane pun) with that.

Tom: It’s got enough “sounds like an old Christmas track” to it, while still being interesting. And those vocals are really, really good.

Tim: Musically I’d never really thought of a Motown-styled Christmas track, but it seems to work nicely, particularly with those vocals you mentioned. So me? I’m two for two, so far.

Tom: Agreed! You’ve sent two decent Christmas songs in a go here, what’s going on? Have my standards changed, or is there good music this year?

Tim: Well, kids, check back tomorrow to find out!

Hanson – Finally It’s Christmas

“Just. Celebrating. CHRISTMAS. And I love that.”

Tim: CHRISTMAS TIME, and Tom, you’ve only got yourself to blame for this – for some reason you decided that the very first post on this (ostensibly) Europop-based blog should be a Hanson track, and, well, revenge it seems is a dish best served wintry, so a Hanson track is what we’ve got to kick us off this season.

Tim: Though I say ‘revenge’, it’s actually not a remotely bad track.

Tom: Yeah, I was going to say…

Tim: They’ve had Christmas songs before — a whole album of covers and originals, in fact, 20 years ago, which makes me think the opening to this video might be a callback–

Tom: Callback? It’s literally from their own 1997 Christmas special, designed to promote that exact album!

Tim: Well I was about to say that it’ll take someone with more dedication than me to check that, so thanks.

Tom: …ah, damn. Anyway, I love how awkward they seem to be in the camera shots when they’re not singing here.

Tim: That is fun, isn’t it? I’ve got to say: this is a pretty good sound. The instrumental tropes are all out in force – tambourine jingling on every other beat, chiming bells dropping in and out – but it’s got fairly hefty rock vibes to it as well.

Tom: And a saxophone middle eight! I mean, this isn’t going to enter the pantheon of Classic Christmas Tracks or anything, but it’s a solid entry for this year.

Tim: Lyrically as well we’ve some good variation – it’s nice to have a change from the more usual “Christmas is time to be all lovey dovey”, because instead we’re Just. Celebrating. CHRISTMAS. And I love that. We’ve a good few tracks coming up, Tom, so let’s hope you’re as excited as I am.

Tom: Despite this song, Tim, it’s not Christmas yet — but this is one of the best openings we’ve had to our Christmas season in all the time we’ve been doing this. Nice try on the “revenge” thing, though.

Saturday Flashback: Chips – Dag Efter Dag

“All the pub-rock-Christmas-piano tropes, only not about Christmas. I can live with that.”

Tim: It’s DECEMBER, so Christmas tracks are just around the corner; let’s get into the mood with Sweden’s entry for Eurovision 1982, shall we?

Tom: Oh boy. Okay, folks, I’m starting this December with even less Christmas spirit than usual, so this is going to be a bumpy ride.

Tom: It sounds Christmassy because it literally has the “ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum” piano bit from All I Want For Christmas Is You in it. The whole thing’s so stereotypical that I actually started laughing.

Tim: True, except that of course it’s not a proper Christmas track – the closest we’ve ever got to that on stage would arguably be back in 1963, with Monica Zetterlund singing “Come now, and let me show you this, our winter town”. Or maybe that Luxembourg one about penguins. Hmm. Nonetheless, sprinkle some bells on this and I’d say you’ve got yourself a damn good festive feeling.

Tom: I can’t disagree: it’s basically all the pub-rock-Christmas-piano tropes, only not about Christmas. I can live with that.

Tim: Overall, it’s an “everything’s brilliant” message, and with that key change in the middle, I can only agree. You feeling it?

Tom: Weirdly, I am. I’m surprised. It won’t last.

Sigrid – Strangers

“Blimey, that starts well.”

Tim: New one off Sigrid, who had that slightly notable Don’t Kill My Vibe a few months back, which we never got round to covering. Here’s her new one.

Tim: Here, I’m confused – I’m in two minds. I can’t decide whether most of the song is fine and the ending is just an overflowing mash up of nonsense, or if the ending finally brings enough of what the song needs to work fully.

Tom: A completely different conclusion from me: blimey, that starts well. That introduction and first verse are absolutely beautiful — moody, promising, well-composed. I’m sure I’ve heard those dark-sounding synths somewhere before, but I don’t mind at all: they’re used very well.

And then there’s a great chorus too! Admittedly by the end it started to lose me — four minutes is perhaps a bit too much — but this worked for me throughout. It’s good!

Tim: Well, a few listens in, that’s what I’m coming round to: there’s a third option where actually most of the song is pretty good, and then while the ending might be a tad messy, it’s overall a perfectly decent tune. In fact actually yes, I think it’s that third option. Nice one.

ISA – I.S.A.

“If this isn’t a song about tax-free savings, I’m going to be disappointed.”

Tim: You may remember Isa from two and a half years back when she did Hairspray at Melodifestivalen, or any number of other tracks we’ve featured of hers; back catalogue notwithstanding, though, she’s chosen to do an introductory track.

Tom: If this isn’t a song about tax-free savings, I’m going to be disappointed.

Tim: I skimmed past it the first time I heard it, but then it got sent in anonymously describing it as “once again further evidence of Sweden doing Pop better than anyone else”, with a hands in the air emoji, no less. So here it is, for your judgment.

Tom: I actually startled a little on that opening line.

Tim: And, well, I’m still not entirely sold on it. The biggest problem is that after hearing it a couple of times the biggest thing I can remember from it (and so much that it pushes pretty much everything else) is that single chorus line “Isa is my name”, which is (a) a bloody stupid lyric and (b) almost entirely lacking of melody.

Tom: I know I’ve said this before, but: if you’re going to have a repetitive chorus line, it had better be a work of absolute genius. This… is not.

Tim: Sure, there’s a bit of fun sax in there, and I’m sure there’s some other stuff as well – but I can’t for the life of me remember it.

Stereoact feat. Voyce – So soll es bleiben

“I’m just not sure about this “understated” thing.”

Tim: Directly following on from yesterday, and it would appear that Kontor Records know what they like.

Tom: I was going to say “videos with women in skimpy clothing” as a quick joke, and then it turns out that’s frame one of the video. Sticking to form.

Tim: I’d be disappointed with anything else really, though that’s not where it stops. Let’s be honest, there are a lot of similarities between the two, both being understated dance-pop tracks (though this verges further towards the pop side, proper middle eight and everything).

Tom: I’m just not sure about this “understated” thing. I know there’s a place for it, but tracks like this and yesterday’s feel like they’re sitting in an uncomfortable uncanny valley between “pleasant pop ballad” and “banger”.

Tim: Perhaps, but looking at that from a different perspective they’re both nice to listen to, admittedly with nothing hugely exciting going on, and in both the most interesting part is the vocal pre-chorus. But here, I absolutely love that part. I don’t know what it is – maybe it’s a bit familiar? – but that vocal and the underlying beats just sound so great together.

Tom: I’ll admit that, by the second chorus, I think I finally figured out what they’re aiming for. It’ll take a few more tracks like this to convince me to like it — I suspect, though, that Kontor is ready to provide.

Tim: The title translates to “That’s the way it should stay”, and you know what? I really think it should.

Gestört aber GeiL feat. Benne – Repeat

“Ooh, that’s nice.”

Tim: Struggling to find exciting tracks to feature, I eventually found myself browsing, of all places, the YouTube channel of Scooter’s record label.

Tom: KONTOR! Or “Office” in English, which doesn’t sound nearly as good. Maybe I’m losing something in translation.

Tim: Wasn’t necessarily expecting to find much, but…

Tom: Ooh, that’s nice.

Tim: Not half bad, is it? The titular Repeat is because that’s the button that the singer keeps pressing when he’s watching videos of him and the ex he’s singing this at – he just can’t let her go, and he’s wondering if she’s feeling as lonely as he is. A sad tale, but one that makes for a nice dance track.

Tom: You could say his iPod’s stuck on replay.

Tim: Decent vocal, and a fair melody (though towards the end it could be argued they’re taking the Repeat a bit too literally). Pre-chorus is arguably the highlight of it, dropping the beat down with him just singing over the base piano line and building up from there – and even though there’s not a huge amount going on in that instrumental chorus, I do particularly like those “ohh” noises.

Tom: When you teed this up saying “Scooter’s record label”, I assumed there was going to be a lot more OOMPH here. It’s a shame: lately we’ve been seeing tracks with excellent production but poor melodies, and this time it’s the other way around. Lovely melody; just not enough backing it up.

Tim: It’s pleasant. It wouldn’t have me charging my way through a crowd to the dance floor, but it’s pleasant.