Tim: Before you ask – “Before The Sky”.
Tom: Ah, thanks.
Tim: The rest of the lyrics? Not a clue, but the Russians clearly thought they weren’t too bad, as this came sixth out of a full 25. Yes, twenty five.
Tom: Are you sure this is being played at the right speed? It sounds like it’s a bit too low, a bit too minor-key, and much too slow.
Tim: A WEBSITE SOMEONE SHOULD MAKE: paste in a YouTube link, play it at double speed. Until then, yes it’s right, and I think it sound quite good.
Tom: In the interests of research, I pulled a copy of it down to my own laptop and sped it up to 130%. It does improve quite a bit.
Tim: Huh. Fair enough. Anyway, I can’t speak a word of Russian, but somehow that didn’t stop me singing along when that chorus came round for a second time. I don’t know the words, I don’t know what they mean, but after hearing them just once I know the syllables and that’s enough for me.
Tom: Culturally aware as ever.
Tim: Of course.
Tom: I just can’t see why you’re getting excited about it though; it’s a bit of a dirge with a decent beat behind it. The after-key-change chorus sounds vaguely tolerable, but it should have started like that.
Tim: I’ll accept that the pre-chorus bit could do with livening up a bit, but ‘dirge’ is doing a bit of a disservice to the verses and middle eight – speaking of which, why does my brain finding middle eight rapping acceptable when it’s in Russian? You are welcome to try to answer that, as I have no idea. And a second question: why didn’t this qualif—STOP. You’ve already started typing a theory or several, but you’re wasting time and energy. I can tell you right now: you’re wrong.
Tom: About your liking of Russian rap, or the lack of qualifications?
Tim: The latter. Whatever you think it should or shouldn’t be or have in order to have qualified, you’re wrong. How do I know this? Because I’ve seen what those Russians actually voted for. And believe me, it’s not what you reckon this ought to be.
But until then, everybody join in: na-FYEERSHOO!!
Tom: If we did have any Russian readers, we don’t any more.