Tim: Long intro time!*
Tom: We’re not talking musically here, are we? Right, I’ll brace myself.
Tim: One of my friends on Twitter recently posted this as the reason he despised UK boybands – “typical wardrobe, shit hair cuts, emo air grabs…just one big mother [ahem] cliche!!!” So, naturally, I had to check it out. And, um, remember INJU5TICE? Well, these guys aren’t quite as bad.
Tom: I just Googled INJU5TICE to see what was happening with them recently. I think they may have forgotten to renew their domain name.
Tim: And yet somehow no-one has noticed.
Let’s have a bit of an introduction to these guys. They are “already tipped to be the next big British R&B/Popular music success”, though we’re not told by whom, they “combine soulful vocals and first-class songwriting prowess”, and they are “preparing to unleash their unique vocal style and heart moving songs to the music world with the debut single release in 2010!”
Tom: Hold on, hold on. 2010? Is that a typo, or are they rereleasing something?
Tim: No, I think it’s just forgetting to update. Everything here comes from their Facebook page, you see, as their actual website just redirects to the iTunes page for one of their past singles, and their management’s website is “comming soon“.
Tom: If ever something deserved a [sic] after it…
Tim: Finally, though, before we hear the track I must tell you that “another unique edge that these boys have is the fact that they are all over 6 foot tall, and any lady will feel safe & secure around them but they will never be the ones to cause any Friction.”
Tom: Or, indeed, “FriXion”. Wait, you’re 6′ 7″. Do the ladies feel safe and secure around you?!
Tim: Depends whether I’m dancing, in which case people often run for cover.
Now let’s begin.
Tim: So yes – wardrobe and haircuts are all in attendance, and there’s a cracker of an air grab at 2:17, but there are a good few issues here.
Tom: The aspect ratio of the video’s one of them. They might be over six feet tall, but they look like squidgy munchkins because someone can’t encode a video properly.
Tim: A good point. Second up, we have the fact that it’s about a minute longer than a song like this should be, which, given the effort they put into the second chorus wouldn’t necessarily be a problem, but here it is, because of the third problem. What the HELL were they thinking after the middle eight? KEY CHANGE, people. A boyband like this NEEDS a key change, or at least get one of them to sing high above the others.
Tom: You’re right about that air grab, though. It’s a cracker. As ever with something like this, though, I can’t fault the members of the band – everything above is down to the producers, not them.
Tim: True, but these are the guys that inevitably get loathed. And loved, I suppose, but only by people like zalikhah1, who wants us to know that “i havent known emm 4 tht long but wen i strted i loved emmm nd nw i aint gonna let emm gooo i will support em alwaiiz”.
Final problem with the song, if we’re still interested in that, is that it has a ridiculously long outro. Although I suppose that sort of means the two radio DJs that decide to play this are less likely to talk over any important bits.
Tom: That sentence is being generous in several different ways.