Tim: That’s right – just ‘Xmas’. And the brevity of the title is, in some respects, an indicator of things to come.
Tom: That might be the laziest Christmas track I’ve heard. What the hell were they thinking?
Tim: “RIGHT THEN,” thinks Michaela, formerly of Army of Lovers, “CHRISTMAS IS AMAZING, so let’s do a Christmas tune. Though, oh, can I really be bothered composing something new? Probably not. I know, I’ll just stick a few GarageBand loops together, and I should probably put some tinkly stuff on at the end. Should probably have some words, um, oh, well, people like saying Merry Christmas, don’t they? And capital cities as well, why not. DONE. Right, now LET’S HAVE FUN with the video. Has anyone got a human brain I can put a Santa hat on?”
Tom: Yep, that just about sums up it up.
Tim: And thus, it was. Music with a festivity rating of 0/10, lyrics with a festivity rating of 1/10 and a video with a festivity rating of 11/10. Oh, it’ll do.
Tom: It really won’t.
Tim: No, you’re right, it won’t.