Tim: Denmark again, but you may need to give this time.
Tom: Oh, right, he’s on a treadmill. That treadmill doesn’t actually appear in any camera shot until more than half way through the song. Before that it’s just a bit confusing. I was too busy trying to work that out, and I sort of forgot the song. Technically, that means I gave it time, but it didn’t seem to repay my investment.
Tim: Though the problem with a Eurovision song, of course, is that you can’t give it time – it has to hit you within, at most, the first minute. This song is, overall, and with a few listens, quite good, but it starts out like a bit of a dull dirge, and it doesn’t really begin to pick up for over a minute and a half, when that big drumbeat first appears.
Tom: And it ain’t even that big of a drumbeat. You need more oomph than that.
Tim: Right – it’s not until thirty seconds before the end that it actually starts working; at that point, it’s really quite good, but by then most of your target voting audience – the pop music fans – have long stopped paying attention to it. They’re either up pouring themselves another drink, or, more likely, discussing how much of a bellend you look like on that treadmill. All because you didn’t want to start off with a drumbeat.
Tom: You want to see a treadmill done properly? This is a treadmill done properly.
Tim: It is, but a breath-stealing sprint isn’t really the best to sing live to. All you do there is walk cockily and look like a tit.