Author: Tim

Saturday Reject: Dead by April – Mystery

Keep the drummer in a metal cage.

Tim: This year, Melodifestivalen had two metal entrants. There was Dynazty with Land of Broken Dreams, which was to all intents and purposes a schlager song dressed up with heavy instruments. Very much worth a listen, but for a review you can pretty much head back to last year’s review of Nicke Borg, because it fulfils a fairly similar role – a song that’ll appeal to mainstream people and will be described by the fans as ‘selling out’, and as far as I’m concerned is very enjoyable.

Then there’s this.

Tom: Sure, keep the drummer in a metal cage. Just in case he’s a bit too visible.

Tim: Well, this is about the singers. We don’t want the instrument players getting aspirations above their stations now, do we?

Tom: Ah, the Drummer’s Lament.

Tim: This song was in the first heat, and (possibly due to the low quality of that week) got further in the competition than Dynazty did, which I think is a shame as I enjoyed that track a lot. This, I’m not sure about. The unintelligible screaming, I hate. I can’t wait for it to finish every time it starts and I wish I could get rid of the bloke in the baseball cap entirely.

Tom: Ah, but that’s how you do “Proper Metal Vocals”, isn’t it? Growl unintelligible vocals from your diaphragm.

Tim: It is, yes – but the other singing, though? I think it’s great. You can hear the key change coming a mile off, for starters, and that’s often an indication of great pop, which the decent stuff actually is – change the backing and it could be sung by any Charlotte Perrelli or Linda Bengtzing who cares to jump up on stage, really.

Tom: Which means it sits in an uncomfortable position – not a schlager song, not really a metal song. I’m surprised it got as far as it did – it’s not Lordi, after all.

Tim: Well, if you did replace it with a female singer and kept the screamy bit, you’d end up with something not unlike the closing part of the Casablanca/Malena Ernman collaboration from two years ago, which actually ended up being pretty brilliant, so that might explain it.

Tom: Casablanca’s lead singer isn’t metal-screaming there, though; it’s not that death-growl. That death-growl’s an acquired taste: for every person who goes ‘yes, proper metal in Eurovision!’ there’ll be two who go ‘ooh what’s wrong with his voice?’

Adrian Lux feat. Joakim Berg – All I Ever Wanted

I don’t know why we’ve not featured Adrian Lux here before.

Tom: Ooh. Basshunter cover? No. Not a Basshunter cover.

Tim: I don’t know why we’ve not featured Adrian Lux here before – he’s a Swedish bloke who puts out some cracking dance tracks every now and again. Take this, for example, his current track.

Tom: Ooh, it’s like the Killers went all dance-y. Well, more dance-y. Less human, anyway.

Tim: This is actually what I’d have liked the new Swedish House Mafia track to be like. Not only does it have a great dance melody to it (which appears early on rather than thirty seconds before the end), but it has decent vocals to it as well, with a good chorus tune to get going to.

Tom: The dark, growing voice means it’s probably not going to be a massively commercial club hit – but it’ll be appreciated by those who do hear it.

Tim: Yes, and it’s not an anthem anyone would be singing along to, but it does give it that little bit extra that helps people think ‘Oh yeah, I liked that one’, which can only be a good thing.

Rabih Jaber – Leave The World Behind

A healthy dollop of autotune and plenty of woah-oh-oohs.

Tim: This came out at the end of last year and we missed it, but it’s got a video now so there’s an excuse to discuss it. Although actually, I’m not going to put the video here, because (a) it features him looking like a pillock and (b) it’s far too downbeat for a day like today.

Tom: I should point out: we wrote this during that recent period of glorious sunshine. If it’s ended by the time you read this, I can only apologise for being so chipper.

Tim: Fairly good vocal dance track here, with a healthy Taio Cruz-sized dollop of autotune and plenty of woah-oh-oohs to get everybody pumping.

Tom: Pumping?

Tim: Oh, I don’t know, it’s written now.

It’s pretty much everything you need to put into a dance track to get it played on an average night out in The Club, as it were.

Tom: And I’m fairly sure all of those things are “inspired” by other, similar dance tracks – it’s almost like someone’s amalgamated everything on one of the big “euphoric dance” compilation CDs into one track.

Tim: Yes, so quite why it was released in December is a bit of a mystery, and a shame because it almost deserves to do well. Still, it’ll probably feature on a couple of end-of-year compilations, and maybe he’s saving up a proper BANGER for later in the year. Let’s wait and see.

Tom: To be fair, this is pretty close to having BANGER status anyway. If he can beat it, I’m looking forward to it.

Robin Stjernberg – On My Mind

Music video with a cheap but vaguely impressive gimmick, anyone?

Tim: Music video with a cheap but vaguely impressive gimmick, anyone?

Tom: That’s usually a good sign.

Tom: Ah, the old “one take” video.

Tim: So, we have a transformation of a bloke from ordinary guy into big popstar in three minutes and thirty seconds, no questions asked. A rather rushed metaphorical version, I suppose, of the actually bloke in an audition queue to Swedish Idol runner-up, this is perhaps his version of a credibility claim, and it’s vastly more impressive that Matt Cardle’s various attempts. Anyway, all he can think about during this period, despite everything that’s happening, is You. Isn’t that sweet?

Tom: Well, the man-collapsed-becoming-popstar shtick has been done in a very similar fashion before, notably by Coldplay – and while their version’s a lot more impressive, they took a lot more liberty with cuts and edits than Robin Stjernberg’s team have. This does have the rather dodgy air of a lip dub about it, though.

Tim: Well, of course it is – aren’t most music videos? Yes, it’s a little more obvious here what with the near-constant focus of him singing, but it’s hardly something that can be avoided.

Tom: There’s a difference, though: a single shot, one person singing into camera as they walk around, no additional “artistic” shots. It’s a subtle distinction, but this feels like it’s on the wrong side of it.

Tim: Hmm, maybe. Overall, though, it’s a decent debut single from someone who wants to be a well-known popstar.

Tom: Right. There’s nothing wrong with it, actually, particularly if you want pleasant, soaring lyrics and a decent voice performing them.

Tim: Unfortunately, though, my attention keeps getting drawn to the video, especially Amanda and the expression on her face. She pretty much behaves like a normal person would if a bloke got into a lift and started singing to a camera: basically, stand there tolerating it, but feeling remarkably uncomfortable, trying to persuade herself that everything’s normal, but sneaking the occasional glance just to check that he’s actually still there and it’s not just all in her head. Then get off at the next available opportunity, whether it’s her floor or not.

Tom: I wonder if she was meant to be there, or if they just added her to the “script” afterwards?

Jessie And The Toy Boys – Petty Theft

“It’s generic Gaga crossed with Katy Perry”

Tom: Our regular Radio Insider, Matt, sends this to us: “It’s generic Gaga crossed with Katy Perry,” he says, “but for some reason I like it.” Can’t say I’ve heard of either Jessie or the Toy Boys before, but previous credits include opening for the Saturdays and, er, ‘inspiring’ a Britney Spears track.

Tom: Matt’s assessment is pretty good – it’s sitting somewhere in between the two Prime Ministers of Pop. The verse is more Gaga, the chorus more Katy Perry – although perhaps a little too close to Teenage Dream.

Tim: I still don’t get what you’ve got against Teenage Dream – I thought (and still think) that’s a fairly decent piece of pop music.

Tom: Teenage Dream is certainly a decent piece of pop – it’s the lack of any real melody in the chorus that gets me, I think. It just seems a bit monotonous. Anyway, Jessie’s track doesn’t suffer from that, and it’s pretty danceable. Pity about the surprise ending, but other than that I’ve got no real complaints.

Tim: Yeah, I’m on roughly the same level there, though I’d take a surprise ending like that over a fade out, say.

Saturday Reject: Tommy Fredvang – Make It Better

This is what happens in Norway when extended metaphors are allowed to run and run and run.

Tim: This is what happens in Norway when extended metaphors are allowed to run and run and run.

Tom: Hey, it’s Norwegian Gary Barlow! Seriously, if he isn’t on their version of the X Factor, something’s gone wrong.

Tim: He does look weirdly similar, doesn’t he? Can we put a tracker on Gary just to make sure it isn’t him?

Tom: A tracker on Gary Barlow? That’s Jason Orange, isn’t it?

Tim: Anyway, we start off with the idea of his infatuation with the target of the song as a disease – in the chorus, he plans on making it better. Sadly, that seems not to work, as by the second verse it’s turned into an epidemic. In the second chorus he reaffirms his intention to make it better nonetheless, but in the middle eight the feeling, much like the metaphor itself, is out of his control. I suppose it’s a good thing there’s a three minute limit, really, because otherwise he’d probably start vaccinating the audience.

Tom: I’m assuming the backup dancers dressed as doctors didn’t make it on the night, then.

Tim: Given that no-one really pays attention to the lyrics at Eurovision, though…

Tom: Apart from you.

Tim: Apart from me, what with it only being played once, that doesn’t remotely matter. What matters is the music, and I think it’s flipping fantastic. It is, in its own way, somewhat infectious – a catchy melody for the vocals and some great instrumentation backing up the chorus.

Tom: Decent middle eight, too – complete with cheeky Take That-esque wink to the camera. SEE? IT’S BARLOW.

Tim: My one big upset is that they only used lots of lights for the staging, rather than having, say, hundreds of giant microbes falling from the ceiling after his quiet singing, which he could then kick off the stage (infecting the audience, you see) for the rest of the middle eight, rather than stand around with not much to do.

Tom: You should totally be a Eurovision staging director. I can’t see what could possibly go wrong.

Tim: Nothing at all. It would all be PERFECT.

Alphabeat – Vacation

There’s not a lot I could criticise here.

Tim: Third album, lead single, let’s GO!

Tom: One, two, three, four! What? Sorry. I was counting in there. Not sure why. Can’t even play the drums, really.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i23Fe2Stqdk

Tim: I should explain: I’m in an unusually very upbeat mood at the moment (no idea why), so I’m having difficulty finding criticisms of songs. But I genuinely think there’s not a lot I could criticise here even if I wanted to.

Tom: Unexpectedly downbeat first verse after a very strong introduction? The fact that it’s basically a cross between Madonna’s Holiday and Kool and the Gang’s Celebration? The fact it’s a bit more of an album track than a lead single? Okay, I’m trying to be the pessimist to your optimist here, so perhaps those are a bit unfounded. Ultimately, it’s not “10,000 Nights”, but it’s not bad.

Tim: The verse isn’t downbeat – it’s just not as upbeat as the intro and chorus. But listen to that chorus – it’s great. “Leave your troubles way behind, we gonna have a good time…have yourselves a good vacation.” Add to all that the as-usual-great Alphabeat style, and who can complain about it? They even talk about nose-picking, which is a delightful first for a pop song, as far as I’m aware.

Tom: Wait, what? Delightful?

Tim: Oh yes. I’ve always though you don’t get anywhere near as many references to it as you should.

Tom: Well, if you feel like being nauseated, have a read about Frank Zappa’s friends.

Tim: Oh. Hmm. Blimey. Actually, thoug, I’ve just realised there is a way this could have been improved – key change at 2:32. Yes – that’s the sort of mood I’m in.

Tom: I’m not sure I can trust your judgment at the minute.

Emeli Sandé – Next To Me

Far more to it than a song like this would normally have.

Tim: I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a couple of months now, but never got round to it. Still, better late than never, innit.

Tom: Professional as ever.

Tim: Damn straight, bruv.

Tom: Those first four piano chords did have me half-expecting Look Around You’s “Little Mouse“, but fortunately it went elsewhere very quickly. Instead, well… I reckon it sounds very much like Disney’s not-particularly-showstopping “Colors of the Wind“, but for the life of me I can’t say why.

Tim: I’ll be honest: I can’t hear that at all.

Tom: I think it’s just in the verses, but then again it may just be in my head.

Tim: Well, whether it is or not, this basically has far more to it than a song like this would normally have, and it’s all the better for it. Because it could so easily have been written as a slow, fairly dreary piano ballad, without all the drums and everything, and it would have been ‘fine’. Fits the ‘I’ve got a nice guy’ message, she’s got a good voice, gets airplay, does well. Nothing good, nothing special, but more of a ‘yeah, this’ll do’ type deal. You know, like The Wanted’s latest album.

Tom: Incidentally, The Wanted are doing very well in America right now. First track I heard on the radio during my recent trip to the states? “Glad You Came”. Now there’s something I didn’t expect. Anyway, yes: this could have been very Adele-like.

Tim: But no. You add the drums in, and then the brass, and it becomes so special, so brilliant. Such a celebratory song, about how she’s got this guy and she’s so happy about it, that you can’t help moving to it. Maybe just a tiny bit, or maybe you’ll do what I tend to do when it appears – start jumping about, clapping hands and everything, and if I’m feeling particularly up for it I’ll join in with a couple of the ‘ooooh-oooh’s. Which do you favour?

Tom: I’ll go for singing Disney songs over the top of it, I think.

Madonna feat. MIA and Nicki Minaj – Give Me All Your Lovin’

My brain can’t quite cope with what’s going on in this video.

Tom: My brain can’t quite cope with what’s going on in this video.

Tim: Ah, finally doing this, are we?

Tom: “Finally”? I know it’s been getting radio play, but the formal release date’s this week. And yes, I know that doesn’t really count in the age of downloads, but still.

Tim: Oh, alright then, if we must. I’m not sure what’s in the video, but I’ll bet you anything that’s it’s not as weird as bringing a statue of Jesus to life and then discovering stigmata on your hands.

Tom: Nicki Minaj: yep, I can see her doing the cheerleader getup. Suits her. But that’s MIA, whose image is more hard-ass political than preppy cheerleader. For crying out loud, in her last video she had an all-female veil-wearing Muslim stunt driving team. And now she’s chanting backing vocals and waving pompoms for Madonna?

Tim: Hmm. Normally in this place I’d think of some reason to justify it. But…nope. Can’t come up with one.

Tom: Anyway: the music sounds, well, like an updated version of Madonna. It’s clearly her voice, clearly her sound, but the production is just as clearly from this millennium. It’s never going to be a famous singalong hit in a couple of decades’ time, but it’s pretty damn good.

Tim: Meh, it’s alright. Decent, sure, but it’s not as good as the lead single off a new Madonna album should be.

Tom: But MIA. What… what happened?

Saturday Reject: Love Generation – Just A Little Bit

I can see the Saturdays putting this out.

Tom: “Should have direct qualified”, opines our regular reader Roger.

Tim: Indeed – was very much one of the best of the third Melodifestivalen night.

Tom: Well, they didn’t, so let’s find out why.

Tim: Huh. Actually, I can’t think of why. I can see the Saturdays putting this out, and it reaching at least the top 10. In fact, if the video were a little lower quality, I reckon you could have convinced me that these were three of the Saturdays. You know, that one, that one, and the other one.

Tom: Well, it is a RedOne-produced number, so comparisons with Big Proper Pop are somewhat inevitable, and here definitely deserved. Although if we are comparing them to the Saturdays, I actually think the one on the right looks more like that one than that one.

Tim: She’s actually the one that made me think about that one. True story.

Tom: Love Generation used to have five members, though; there’s been a steady rate of attrition ever since they formed.

Tim: Maybe we should take bets on who’ll be this year’s departure – I’m betting Charly Q, who apparently is a good four years older than the other two.

Tom: Anyway, it’s a good track, perhaps not the most melodic of that Melodifestivalen bunch, but certainly danceable. And this is a live performance, too – incredibly polished, even down to the sort-of-UV lighting during that unexpected middle eight.

Tim: If I were to come up with a theory for why this didn’t get through (and believe it not, I have done), it would be that this is too mainstream. This isn’t Swedish pop – it’s American Nicole Scherzinger/Lady Gaga style stuff, and not exactly representative of the country’s output.

Tom: Then I think it deserves more than Melodifestivalen, because it could have done very well.