Sergey Lazarev – You Are The Only One

“I can’t overstate how much I love this track.”

Tim: Tom, I reckon it’s high time we broke with our standard sort-of tradition and discussed Eurovision tracks. Since it’s the bookies’ favourite, and mine, let’s start with Russia, this year an internal selection.

Tim: Well well well. In a year when even Sweden has almost entirely forgone schlager, with it being noticeably absent in any later rounds of Melodifestivalen, Russia of all countries comes along and pulls this out of the bag, one of the finest examples I’ve heard in years.

Tom: And it’s still clearly influenced by last year’s winner — not just in the obvious interactions with the graphics, but in the structure and general style. Yes, it technically hits the notes of schlager, but there’s a bit of Zelmerlow in here too.

Tim: I’ll be honest: I can’t overstate how much I love this track. Aside from those weird phone noises that are peppered throughout the second verse, I would genuinely go as far as saying I don’t think there’s anything to be done to improve this song. It’s brilliant – those strings in the chorus in particular are wonderfully done, and the soaring vocals after the perfect key change are excellent.

And that video: one of the most fun I’ve seen in a while, and great use of projections.

Tom: It’s very cleverly done: they’ve even changed the mapping perspective to follow the camera moves in a couple of places.

Tim: Would I have preferred it if they’d gone for one continuous shot? Yes, but only because the minute-long shot from 0:40 put that idea there and now I can’t help thinking of it as a missed opportunity. I know there’s a hidden cut when the camera pans over to her, but if they’re doing that there, and when it’s spinning around at 2:06, I cant help thinking it’d be lovely if they could keep it up for the whole thing.

Tom: Will it look like this on stage? If so, it’ll certainly be memorable — and might well clinch victory.

Tim: Oh, yes please – if only because it’ll be the first key change winner in well over a decade.

The Lola O – Rising Sun

“It’d make great background music for some minor-success moments”

Tim: Pair of Swedes for you, one called Freja and one called Fred. Weird name, you might think, but Lola is what a barman misheard Freja’s name as on one night out, and O stands for “one-man orchestra”, as Fred plays all the instruments. Perfectly normal reasoning.

Tim: And that’s an entirely pleasant song.

Tom: But with one of the least promising introductions and first verses I’ve heard in a while. I mean, the word that came to mind was “dull”.

Tim: I wouldn’t go quite that far – admittedly, it’s definitely quieter than it needs to be during the verses, but as I see it the chorus there is absolutely cracking. Annoyingly, it doesn’t make up for the rest of the song enough to make me want to hear it again; on the other hand, if it came on the radio I wouldn’t switch it off, and it’d be a nice addition to a ‘lying on the beach’ playlist, so swings and roundabouts, I guess.

Tom: The chorus just about redeems it each time — just — and it’d make great background music for some minor-success moments in the early rounds of this year’s X Factor. Damning with faint praise, there, I feel.

Tim: Yes. Still, praise is praise, and like I said, it’s perfectly pleasant.

Saturday Reject: Markus Riva – I Can

“If the whole song was as good as that chorus…”

Tim: We had “Eurovision: You Decide”. Sweden has “Melodifestivalen”. Latvia has “SUPERNOVA”. And with songs like this? Not necessarily an overstatement.

Tom: A bit of a lower-budget show, not quite the polished perfection of Sweden’s arena show, but I’m willing to bet it will have been better than our effort.

Tim: Well, as it happens, matey, we had Måns, Katrina off Katrina & The Waves and a tribute to Terry Wogan, so NOPE. This came third in the semi-final televotes (though first in its original heat), so just missed out on the final because the jurors didn’t like it. And what a shame that is, because that’s a great song. It might partly be because it’s called I Can, a title which so far has a 100% success rate for producing great tracks, but mostly it’s because of the lyrics, the music, the lights (which are about as good as you get here, despite the SUPERNOVA branding). Upbeat, fulfilling, inspiring, just excellent.

Tom: It’s a cracking chorus, that’s for sure. If the whole song was as good as that chorus, this’d be looking at a top-10 placing in the final, I reckon. But I’m really not sure about that verse: it’s too slow, too dull, and… ugh.

Tim: Yeah? Because for me, the only downfall is the middle eight, which I’ve a couple of niggles with: there really should be a good few more lyrics there, though I can understand wanting to bring a chantable portion to a non-English speaking audience, and I’d have left the key change until after that last pre-chorus, because those notes sound a bit unpleasant to my ears.

Tom: Agreed about the odd change down, but I do like the rest of it.

Tim: Other than those two bits, though: I think is great, and also that it’s just a shame He Couldn’t.

Tom: Harsh. Fair, but harsh.

Try – Patrick Brasca & Jay Chou

“If you only do what you can do, you’ll never be more than you are now.”

Tim: I’ve never understood people who get up and leave cinemas the instant the main film ends. First off, you’re almost always missing out on nicely designed main credits scenes; secondly, there’s a chance there’s extra scenes coming up; thirdly, and most importantly, you won’t hear potentially great music, like this.

Tom: I was all set to agree with you (because, after all, Owl City’s song from Wreck-It Ralph was amazing), but…

Tim: Well, now, wait Tom, because you may well have your fingers already poised to type things like “oh god” and “I want to shoot the person who came up with these lyrics”, but first: at least give me the fact that this is the first song we’ve ever featured to contain a Chinese rap section, so there’s at least that to appreciate.

Tom: I mean, that’s fair, but the rest is rather… generic to say the least.

Tim: I’ll pick you up on that in a bit, but for that rap: while it’s hardly surprising that Google doesn’t handle Chinese-English translations brilliantly, it does provide a phonetic guide so you can rap along, or in any case TRY (see what I did there) to do it. You may find it nearly impossible, but (as Master Shifu says in the film), “If you only do what you can do, you’ll never be more than you are now.”

Tom: I believe you tweeted that with “#deep”, which I think sums up my feelings on it.

Tim: Oh, but it just so is. Anyway, I could go on about inspirational messages (or, depending upon your point of view, patronising and condescending bullshit), but since we’re unlikely to agree I’ll move on and just say that this is the first song in a while that’s got me leaving the cinema with it stuck in my head and wanting to look it up when I got home. And I think that’s a mark of decent pop music, really, and particularly the try/fly/high repetitions in the chorus. But if you’re not happy with that, maybe The Vamps attempting kung fu and stuffing James’s mouth with dumplings will entertain you instead.

Tom: Daz did it better.

Tim: Hmm. A debate for another day, perhaps.

Pet Shop Boys – Happiness

“A huge amount of what I can only describe as ‘good stuff'”

Tom: We’ve been covering tracks from the new album as they’ve been releasing them. So far you’ve been more impressed than I have: and I’m wondering if this is going to switch that around.

Tim: I think you’re right.

Tom: Because what we have here has a clear base in Aviici’s style: a country-sounding sample with a load of EDM around it. Except this is also clearly the Pet Shop Boys’ synthpop style, with a huge amount of what I can only describe as “good stuff” added.

Tim: Hmm. I’m fairly sure there’s a reason they performed The Pop Kids when they were on Graham Norton’s show last week – because that really doesn’t do it for me. I love the vocal part, and indeed the instrumental underneath it. But the instrumental part between those sections just really doesn’t do it for me.

Tom: See, I have no idea why I like this so much. I shouldn’t: that lyric and melody should be cheesy, the electronic stuff’s chaotic, and I’m not even sure it works as a whole. But you know what? I immediately hit replay after it finished, and it’s a rare song that makes me do that.

Tim: And in future I can imagine myself sadly pushing the skip button when it comes along on the album.

Christie & The Dream Beats – Wasn’t My Fault

“Almost on a par with Avril Lavigne at the very top of her game.”

Tim: Press play, and ENJOY the glorious chorus that awaits.

Tom: Chorus?! Never mind the chorus, just that first verse is brilliant. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that is a spectacular chorus, one of the best I’ve heard in a good while, but when even the first verse gets me interested, we’ve got a great song.

Tim: Christie is British, the Dream Beats are a Swedish pair, and when they get together they are, it seems, able to produce pop music that’s almost on a par with Avril Lavigne at the very top of her game.

Tom: You know how damn cynical I am about songs, Tim. Nearly everything that comes through here, I’m going “meh” at. Not this. This is amazing. (And slightly reminiscent of Coldplay’s Yellow at the end of the verses, but that’s my brain making connections, not any sort of allegation.)

Tim: The attitude, the strength of the lyrics and the sheer vibrancy of everything going on, particularly in that wonderful and enormous chorus, just sounds fantastic. And what a fantastic message! ‘Yep, I slept with him, but dammit he was hot (and he was the one looking to get laid, not me) so I should really get a pass’. I mean I’d definitely forgive that. Who wouldn’t, really?

Tom: I’m generally in favour of messages like that, too.

Tim: All in: massive chorus, great lyrics, top marks, well done.

Nick Jonas feat. Tove Lo – Close

“BOOM suddenly Tom Hiddleston gets his bum out and no-one knows where to look.”

Tim: Only a few weeks since she last graced these pages, but Tove is once again back as a feat., and once again getting somewhat physical with the lead.

Tom: Remember when the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings?

Tim: Ha, yeah – who’d have thought that was just a phase, and basically just a publicity stunt? As emphasised here, really. I mean, flipping heck, we have basically a Night Manager style video, where you’re at home with your family, watching a nice spy drama and BOOM suddenly Tom Hiddleston gets his bum out and no-one knows where to look.

Tom: That sounds like it’s a personal experience there.

Tim: Yeah, I’d rather not talk about it. All quite disgraceful, really, or at least it would be if it wasn’t quite as entrancing as it is – combined with the music it almost becomes a can’t-quite-take-your-eyes-away moment. Because yes, that music – it’s gentle and there’s not a lot to get excited about, banging wise, but it’s wonderfully put together, and pleasant to listen to on top.

Tom: You say that, but I’m really not sure about that… is it a distorted steel drum patch they’re using for the main synth line there? It’s not something I’ve heard before, which is usually a good thing, but it takes some getting used to.

Tim: See, I quite like that – has the impact of a standard percussion hit but still being quite soft. So yes, I will take this, just as long as my mum’s not around.

Meghan Trainor – NO

“I’ll be honest, I physically cringed.”

Tim: Oh, do we have to?

Tom: New single, new album. And in the same way as Taylor Swift made the jump from country to pop, Meghan Trainor is trying to make the jump from her doo-wop, retro style to modern pop music. And…

Tom: …she hasn’t made it.

Tim: Hmm.

Tom: Or, rather, she’s made it into about the early 2000s, with a song that would have worked perfectly for Britney Spears but somehow just doesn’t work in her voice.

Tim: Thing is, I know it was largely derided, but I really loved Marvin Gaye, and a lot of Meghan’s previous tracks. A shift to this style: really not for me.

Tom: Brilliant introduction. Brilliant final chorus. Brilliant message and production. But… look, can I make the obvious joke?

Tim: Go on then.

Tom: The bits where she… I’m not sure it counts as rap. The bits where she talks. I’ll be honest, I physically cringed on that first spoken line. “Nah to the ah, to the no no no”. Seriously. Someone wrote that and thought “yeah, that’ll do”. It won’t do.

Tim: NO.

Saturday Reject: Krista Siegfrids – Faller

“Sometimes a song comes along destined for fifth place”

Tim: It wasn’t all about the final at this year’s Melodifestivalen, of course – a sizeable of decent tracks got knocked out beforehand, such as this, from Krista – you remember, her who gave you a panic attack three years ago when she wanted to represent Finland. Now she’s dressed sensibly, competing to represent Sweden with some pretty excellent floor lighting. Song title translates as “Falling”, as in “I’m falling for you”.

Tom: That side look and slight twitch-wink to camera in the first verse still startled me though.

Tim: Sometimes a song comes along destined for fifth place – easily good enough not to be kicked out in the bottom two, but when compared with the others in the top five, not quite strong enough to make it through to the next round. A few weeks back we had Mimi Werner, and we can add Krista to that list.

Tom: Yep, that’s what I was going to say. It’s a bit too monotone, a bit too all-the-same. Even some great steadicam shots and projection-mapping floor designs can’t save that.

Tim: No – it is a very good pop song being well performed with excellent visual production – but apparently nothing quite special enough for Melodifestivalen. A shame, because I do think this is very good – easily good enough to make its way onto my playlist of rejects – but it’s just that sort of ruthless competition.

Red Sleeping Beauty – Mi Amor

“With a view of the Mediterranean, she can’t appreciate the things Scandinavian.”

Tim: Red Sleeping Beauty, a band from the early 90s that named themselves after a 1986 British protest song. They’ve been quiet for 19 years, but are now officially back, with an album out in a few months time and this as the lead single.

Tim: As much as it may sound like a terrible idea for anything, this is a case of title first, then song. Says lead singer Niklas, “I knew I wanted the song to be called ‘Mi Amor’. A quick Google search made it clear that ‘tu calor’ is the standard rhyme in most Spanish songs. For the words in-between, we got help from Spanish speaking friends.”

Tom: Amazing work. Lyricists over the globe are applauding.

Tim: Well, quite. It ended up being about a long distance relationship (‘long’ being in this case 1500 miles, the distance between him in Sweden and her in Spain). He’s refusing to move to Spain (he’d rather put up with the rain), and she doesn’t want to go to Sweden (despite it looking like the Garden of Eden). On top of that, with a view of the Mediterranean, she can’t appreciate the things Scandinavian – not even the Northern Lights, girl, they’re the perfect scene for a fights, girl.

Tom: My jaw dropped open when I heard that. It’s a terrible, terrible lyric. It’s the kind of clunker that’s made to parody clunkers.

Tim: You may wonder why I’m just typing out the lyrics – it’s because I love them. I don’t know if they’re meant to be funny, or if I’m just in a slightly silly mood, but either way I’m very annoyed I don’t know enough Spanish to find out the conclusion to their dilemma that is no doubt present in the chorus. Do they half and half it and move to Stuttgart? Probably best not to, but the other option to choose is being possibly the first couple in history to break up for meteorological reasons. Which is it? I WANT TO KNOW.

Tom: We should probably talk about the music at some point, Tim. Because oddly, I like it.

Tim: Yeah – it is odd, but I like it as well. Like yesterday, we’ve got instruments that don’t normally sit together (synths and a calypso guitar, really?), and yet they don’t sound anywhere near as disjointed as you’d think. Nice track, even if I can’t shake the feeling that with its tale to tell, it’s not far off being a novelty track.

Tom: That’s spot on. This is a really, really nice song, perfectly produced despite its dissonant components. It’s just those damned lyrics.