Swedish House Mafia – Greyhound

“You just buy into all this marketing stuff, don’t you?”

Tim: New track that also accompanies a vodka advert.

Tom: Bleh.

Tim: Not sure what came first, but the full seven-minute cut of the track is here, but let’s watch the advert because it’s quite fun. (If you get bored, you can skip to about 1:30 and you won’t miss much.)

Tom: Yeah, I’m going to skip the one you’ve embedded here and just listen to the actual track. Let’s not forget this has a decent pedigree – no pun intended – Swedish House Mafia have had plenty of hits, and Axwell’s made a name for himself on his own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmlRK8Da6GE

Tim: No idea what brings greyhounds and vodka together, but it’s such a weird video that I don’t much care. Lengthy build-up, yes, but then dance tracks generally come with such a thing and get chopped up and remixed – in fact, that link at the end takes you to a thing on Facebook where you can do just that, and it’s quite fun to play around with.

Tom: You just buy into all this marketing stuff, don’t you?

Tim: To buy vodka, no; to waste half an hour on the internet, hell yeah.

Tom: I think I should call you a “sell-out” now.

Tim: Well, that’s just not fair. If I was, I’d have mentioned the vodka right at the start, and probably chosen to concentrate more on the adv—ooh, here’s an idea! Let’s talk about the song.

This video doesn’t display it to its best – the aforementioned intro and the main melody only appearing properly a minute or so before the end – but that main melody, when it does appear, is really good, and I think if I heard a radio edit of this I’d like it a lot. Bring it, please.

Tom: As ever, it’s when the synths come in and we get an actual melody line that it really starts to work for me. It’s difficult to remember, sometimes, that these tracks shouldn’t be taken in isolation – they’re meant to be mixed together on a dance floor. And this would be pretty much perfect for getting me dancing.

Tim: UPDATE: I’ve just heard the radio edit, on the radio (duh), and it is pretty good. So there you go.

Robin Stjernberg – On My Mind

Music video with a cheap but vaguely impressive gimmick, anyone?

Tim: Music video with a cheap but vaguely impressive gimmick, anyone?

Tom: That’s usually a good sign.

Tom: Ah, the old “one take” video.

Tim: So, we have a transformation of a bloke from ordinary guy into big popstar in three minutes and thirty seconds, no questions asked. A rather rushed metaphorical version, I suppose, of the actually bloke in an audition queue to Swedish Idol runner-up, this is perhaps his version of a credibility claim, and it’s vastly more impressive that Matt Cardle’s various attempts. Anyway, all he can think about during this period, despite everything that’s happening, is You. Isn’t that sweet?

Tom: Well, the man-collapsed-becoming-popstar shtick has been done in a very similar fashion before, notably by Coldplay – and while their version’s a lot more impressive, they took a lot more liberty with cuts and edits than Robin Stjernberg’s team have. This does have the rather dodgy air of a lip dub about it, though.

Tim: Well, of course it is – aren’t most music videos? Yes, it’s a little more obvious here what with the near-constant focus of him singing, but it’s hardly something that can be avoided.

Tom: There’s a difference, though: a single shot, one person singing into camera as they walk around, no additional “artistic” shots. It’s a subtle distinction, but this feels like it’s on the wrong side of it.

Tim: Hmm, maybe. Overall, though, it’s a decent debut single from someone who wants to be a well-known popstar.

Tom: Right. There’s nothing wrong with it, actually, particularly if you want pleasant, soaring lyrics and a decent voice performing them.

Tim: Unfortunately, though, my attention keeps getting drawn to the video, especially Amanda and the expression on her face. She pretty much behaves like a normal person would if a bloke got into a lift and started singing to a camera: basically, stand there tolerating it, but feeling remarkably uncomfortable, trying to persuade herself that everything’s normal, but sneaking the occasional glance just to check that he’s actually still there and it’s not just all in her head. Then get off at the next available opportunity, whether it’s her floor or not.

Tom: I wonder if she was meant to be there, or if they just added her to the “script” afterwards?

Jessie And The Toy Boys – Petty Theft

“It’s generic Gaga crossed with Katy Perry”

Tom: Our regular Radio Insider, Matt, sends this to us: “It’s generic Gaga crossed with Katy Perry,” he says, “but for some reason I like it.” Can’t say I’ve heard of either Jessie or the Toy Boys before, but previous credits include opening for the Saturdays and, er, ‘inspiring’ a Britney Spears track.

Tom: Matt’s assessment is pretty good – it’s sitting somewhere in between the two Prime Ministers of Pop. The verse is more Gaga, the chorus more Katy Perry – although perhaps a little too close to Teenage Dream.

Tim: I still don’t get what you’ve got against Teenage Dream – I thought (and still think) that’s a fairly decent piece of pop music.

Tom: Teenage Dream is certainly a decent piece of pop – it’s the lack of any real melody in the chorus that gets me, I think. It just seems a bit monotonous. Anyway, Jessie’s track doesn’t suffer from that, and it’s pretty danceable. Pity about the surprise ending, but other than that I’ve got no real complaints.

Tim: Yeah, I’m on roughly the same level there, though I’d take a surprise ending like that over a fade out, say.

Saturday Reject: Tommy Fredvang – Make It Better

This is what happens in Norway when extended metaphors are allowed to run and run and run.

Tim: This is what happens in Norway when extended metaphors are allowed to run and run and run.

Tom: Hey, it’s Norwegian Gary Barlow! Seriously, if he isn’t on their version of the X Factor, something’s gone wrong.

Tim: He does look weirdly similar, doesn’t he? Can we put a tracker on Gary just to make sure it isn’t him?

Tom: A tracker on Gary Barlow? That’s Jason Orange, isn’t it?

Tim: Anyway, we start off with the idea of his infatuation with the target of the song as a disease – in the chorus, he plans on making it better. Sadly, that seems not to work, as by the second verse it’s turned into an epidemic. In the second chorus he reaffirms his intention to make it better nonetheless, but in the middle eight the feeling, much like the metaphor itself, is out of his control. I suppose it’s a good thing there’s a three minute limit, really, because otherwise he’d probably start vaccinating the audience.

Tom: I’m assuming the backup dancers dressed as doctors didn’t make it on the night, then.

Tim: Given that no-one really pays attention to the lyrics at Eurovision, though…

Tom: Apart from you.

Tim: Apart from me, what with it only being played once, that doesn’t remotely matter. What matters is the music, and I think it’s flipping fantastic. It is, in its own way, somewhat infectious – a catchy melody for the vocals and some great instrumentation backing up the chorus.

Tom: Decent middle eight, too – complete with cheeky Take That-esque wink to the camera. SEE? IT’S BARLOW.

Tim: My one big upset is that they only used lots of lights for the staging, rather than having, say, hundreds of giant microbes falling from the ceiling after his quiet singing, which he could then kick off the stage (infecting the audience, you see) for the rest of the middle eight, rather than stand around with not much to do.

Tom: You should totally be a Eurovision staging director. I can’t see what could possibly go wrong.

Tim: Nothing at all. It would all be PERFECT.

Alyssa Reid feat. Jump Smokers – Alone Again

“Haven’t I heard this before?”

Tim: This first appeared in Canada over a year ago, but it’s only fairly recently made waves over here. I’ve Shazammed it (that can be a verb, right?) three times in the past fortnight, which means (a) I’ve got a lousy memory for songs and (b) I think it’s more than a bit good.

Tom: I still say Shazam should give a sarcastic comment when someone goes that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=witcrLcD3mU

Tom: “Hang on,” I thought, “haven’t I heard this before?” And of course, yes I have: it’s based on Heart’s classic rock track. And I’ve got to say: the original was better.

Tim: You think? Well, maybe. Doesn’t mean we can’t consider this on its own merits though, and I think that this isn’t unlike Emeli Sandé’s one that we did on Wednesday – despite the rock original it could so easily have been a dreary ballad – she could have sung pretty much what Jump Smokers (I’m not sure that’s what his mum calls him, but never mind) is going on about, and again it would have been fine. Radio play, listen to her beautiful voice, get to number 15 or something, and we’re done.

As before, but no. We bring Jump in, and he does his thing, and—I think this is the first time I’ve ever said this—his rapping makes it better.

Tom: Admittedly there is a lot of new material in here, and the modern production helps it sound rather good to my ears, but none of it’s nearly as good as that original chorus. The rap bit does save it from being a more stodgy cover, I’ll agree.

Tim: It does – it gives it a vibe (didn’t know that was a word I’d ever use) that gives the song so much more, along with the clapping and drum beats, and now we’ve got a number 2 hit on our hands, a dance mix that doesn’t sound like a cheap cash-in and a good follow-up (which somewhat weirdly samples this track) that’ll probably appear this side of the Atlantic in the not-too-distant future.

Tom: Ultimately: it’s a good refresh of a very well-known classic track. But I can’t help feeling that the new stuff is being propped up by the old.

Alphabeat – Vacation

There’s not a lot I could criticise here.

Tim: Third album, lead single, let’s GO!

Tom: One, two, three, four! What? Sorry. I was counting in there. Not sure why. Can’t even play the drums, really.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i23Fe2Stqdk

Tim: I should explain: I’m in an unusually very upbeat mood at the moment (no idea why), so I’m having difficulty finding criticisms of songs. But I genuinely think there’s not a lot I could criticise here even if I wanted to.

Tom: Unexpectedly downbeat first verse after a very strong introduction? The fact that it’s basically a cross between Madonna’s Holiday and Kool and the Gang’s Celebration? The fact it’s a bit more of an album track than a lead single? Okay, I’m trying to be the pessimist to your optimist here, so perhaps those are a bit unfounded. Ultimately, it’s not “10,000 Nights”, but it’s not bad.

Tim: The verse isn’t downbeat – it’s just not as upbeat as the intro and chorus. But listen to that chorus – it’s great. “Leave your troubles way behind, we gonna have a good time…have yourselves a good vacation.” Add to all that the as-usual-great Alphabeat style, and who can complain about it? They even talk about nose-picking, which is a delightful first for a pop song, as far as I’m aware.

Tom: Wait, what? Delightful?

Tim: Oh yes. I’ve always though you don’t get anywhere near as many references to it as you should.

Tom: Well, if you feel like being nauseated, have a read about Frank Zappa’s friends.

Tim: Oh. Hmm. Blimey. Actually, thoug, I’ve just realised there is a way this could have been improved – key change at 2:32. Yes – that’s the sort of mood I’m in.

Tom: I’m not sure I can trust your judgment at the minute.

Emeli Sandé – Next To Me

Far more to it than a song like this would normally have.

Tim: I’ve been meaning to bring this up for a couple of months now, but never got round to it. Still, better late than never, innit.

Tom: Professional as ever.

Tim: Damn straight, bruv.

Tom: Those first four piano chords did have me half-expecting Look Around You’s “Little Mouse“, but fortunately it went elsewhere very quickly. Instead, well… I reckon it sounds very much like Disney’s not-particularly-showstopping “Colors of the Wind“, but for the life of me I can’t say why.

Tim: I’ll be honest: I can’t hear that at all.

Tom: I think it’s just in the verses, but then again it may just be in my head.

Tim: Well, whether it is or not, this basically has far more to it than a song like this would normally have, and it’s all the better for it. Because it could so easily have been written as a slow, fairly dreary piano ballad, without all the drums and everything, and it would have been ‘fine’. Fits the ‘I’ve got a nice guy’ message, she’s got a good voice, gets airplay, does well. Nothing good, nothing special, but more of a ‘yeah, this’ll do’ type deal. You know, like The Wanted’s latest album.

Tom: Incidentally, The Wanted are doing very well in America right now. First track I heard on the radio during my recent trip to the states? “Glad You Came”. Now there’s something I didn’t expect. Anyway, yes: this could have been very Adele-like.

Tim: But no. You add the drums in, and then the brass, and it becomes so special, so brilliant. Such a celebratory song, about how she’s got this guy and she’s so happy about it, that you can’t help moving to it. Maybe just a tiny bit, or maybe you’ll do what I tend to do when it appears – start jumping about, clapping hands and everything, and if I’m feeling particularly up for it I’ll join in with a couple of the ‘ooooh-oooh’s. Which do you favour?

Tom: I’ll go for singing Disney songs over the top of it, I think.

Madonna feat. MIA and Nicki Minaj – Give Me All Your Lovin’

My brain can’t quite cope with what’s going on in this video.

Tom: My brain can’t quite cope with what’s going on in this video.

Tim: Ah, finally doing this, are we?

Tom: “Finally”? I know it’s been getting radio play, but the formal release date’s this week. And yes, I know that doesn’t really count in the age of downloads, but still.

Tim: Oh, alright then, if we must. I’m not sure what’s in the video, but I’ll bet you anything that’s it’s not as weird as bringing a statue of Jesus to life and then discovering stigmata on your hands.

Tom: Nicki Minaj: yep, I can see her doing the cheerleader getup. Suits her. But that’s MIA, whose image is more hard-ass political than preppy cheerleader. For crying out loud, in her last video she had an all-female veil-wearing Muslim stunt driving team. And now she’s chanting backing vocals and waving pompoms for Madonna?

Tim: Hmm. Normally in this place I’d think of some reason to justify it. But…nope. Can’t come up with one.

Tom: Anyway: the music sounds, well, like an updated version of Madonna. It’s clearly her voice, clearly her sound, but the production is just as clearly from this millennium. It’s never going to be a famous singalong hit in a couple of decades’ time, but it’s pretty damn good.

Tim: Meh, it’s alright. Decent, sure, but it’s not as good as the lead single off a new Madonna album should be.

Tom: But MIA. What… what happened?

Engelbert Humperdinck – Love Will Set You Free

So, here it is. Britain’s entry for Eurovision 2012.

Tim: So, here it is. Britain’s entry for Eurovision 2012, announced a while back as Engelbert Humperdinck to varying levels of enthusiasm. And now it’s here, so let’s have a listen.

Tom: First of all, he’s clearly still got the voice. And what a voice it is.

Tim: Indeed. It’s pretty much, well, exactly what I thought it would be, and to be honest what I was worried it would be. Sure, it’s a vaguely decent song, and there’s no doubting the guy can hit the notes – like you say, he’s still got the voice – but there are issues all over the place.

Tom: Here’s my problem, Tim: it’s not big enough. Let’s compare this to classic Humperdinck: his 1969 track Les Bicyclettes De Belsize. He’s got more behind him here, including a fairly muted drumkit, a backing choir, and what appears to be a handbell.

Okay, so the latter is probably a bit much, granted; but for someone who rivalled Tom Jones in more ways than one, his voice needs something more behind it than a solitary guitar. Otherwise it sounds a bit like a man shouting in the middle of a funeral parlour.

Tim: That’s one issue, right there. Then there’s the key change. They often get criticised for only being used to liven up a dull song, often unfairly and unjustly. But here, that’s exactly what it’s doing, and it’s so predictable it’s almost pathetic. It’s not even a good one that’s accompanied by a magnificent increase in instrumentation or anything.

Tom: Well, here’s another example: Release Me. His songs didn’t get bigger than this. Orchestra and choir, and still his voice is beating them all – and you get the feeling his voice would still beat them all without a microphone. Just listen to that key change!

Tim: Yes – that’s a decent one. My main problem, though, is that I can’t imagine this as a decent performance. We all know Eurovision’s just as much about putting on a decent show as it is singing a good song, but you couldn’t have bright lights moving all over the place with this, or scantily clad dancers on plinths throwing their legs all over the place. All you could justifiably have is, well, what’s in the video – like you said, it’s just not big enough.

Regardless of whether there’s such a thing as a Eurovision track or not, this sure as hell won’t be a Eurovision performance.

Tom: As far as I can tell, neither of us has any criticisms of the lyrics, the melody or the singer. It’s a decent song, and he can certainly sing it. It’s a proper, modern euro-ballad.

Tim: No it’s not – like you say, it’s nowhere near big enough with just that guitar and the strings. Would even a couple of drums be too much to ask for? Right now it’s nowhere near a euro-ballad – it’s closer to a euro-campfire song.

Tom: It’ll just be a very static, and very pared-down performance, and I’ve honestly got no idea how Eurovision will react to it.

Tim: My prediction: older folks, and people that know and like him, will get on with it well. Everybody else? They’ll be hoping Jedward’s not too far away.

Saturday Reject: Love Generation – Just A Little Bit

I can see the Saturdays putting this out.

Tom: “Should have direct qualified”, opines our regular reader Roger.

Tim: Indeed – was very much one of the best of the third Melodifestivalen night.

Tom: Well, they didn’t, so let’s find out why.

Tim: Huh. Actually, I can’t think of why. I can see the Saturdays putting this out, and it reaching at least the top 10. In fact, if the video were a little lower quality, I reckon you could have convinced me that these were three of the Saturdays. You know, that one, that one, and the other one.

Tom: Well, it is a RedOne-produced number, so comparisons with Big Proper Pop are somewhat inevitable, and here definitely deserved. Although if we are comparing them to the Saturdays, I actually think the one on the right looks more like that one than that one.

Tim: She’s actually the one that made me think about that one. True story.

Tom: Love Generation used to have five members, though; there’s been a steady rate of attrition ever since they formed.

Tim: Maybe we should take bets on who’ll be this year’s departure – I’m betting Charly Q, who apparently is a good four years older than the other two.

Tom: Anyway, it’s a good track, perhaps not the most melodic of that Melodifestivalen bunch, but certainly danceable. And this is a live performance, too – incredibly polished, even down to the sort-of-UV lighting during that unexpected middle eight.

Tim: If I were to come up with a theory for why this didn’t get through (and believe it not, I have done), it would be that this is too mainstream. This isn’t Swedish pop – it’s American Nicole Scherzinger/Lady Gaga style stuff, and not exactly representative of the country’s output.

Tom: Then I think it deserves more than Melodifestivalen, because it could have done very well.