Saturday Reject: Brinck – Human

“Oh, right, he’s on a treadmill.”

Tim: Denmark again, but you may need to give this time.

Tom: Oh, right, he’s on a treadmill. That treadmill doesn’t actually appear in any camera shot until more than half way through the song. Before that it’s just a bit confusing. I was too busy trying to work that out, and I sort of forgot the song. Technically, that means I gave it time, but it didn’t seem to repay my investment.

Tim: Though the problem with a Eurovision song, of course, is that you can’t give it time – it has to hit you within, at most, the first minute. This song is, overall, and with a few listens, quite good, but it starts out like a bit of a dull dirge, and it doesn’t really begin to pick up for over a minute and a half, when that big drumbeat first appears.

Tom: And it ain’t even that big of a drumbeat. You need more oomph than that.

Tim: Right – it’s not until thirty seconds before the end that it actually starts working; at that point, it’s really quite good, but by then most of your target voting audience – the pop music fans – have long stopped paying attention to it. They’re either up pouring themselves another drink, or, more likely, discussing how much of a bellend you look like on that treadmill. All because you didn’t want to start off with a drumbeat.

Tom: You want to see a treadmill done properly? This is a treadmill done properly.

Tim: It is, but a breath-stealing sprint isn’t really the best to sing live to. All you do there is walk cockily and look like a tit.

Hurts – Blind

“Dark enough without the video.”

Tim: This is the second single off their very difficult second album; there’s a video for it, but it’s so dark it actually kind of spoiled the song for me, so I’m not even going to link to it. Instead, let’s have four and a half minutes of artwork.

Tim: According to my ratings, this is the joint-second best song on the album, though admittedly that’s not really saying much. It is, however, quite a bit closer to proper first-album Hurts than Miracle was, which is good.

Tom: And the song’s dark enough without the video: “cut out my eyes, and leave me blind”.

Tim: Oh God yes — the lyrics are…a bit off, shall we say. Firstly, I have a bit of a thing about eyes and violence, in that it really really freaks me out, so I could do with some nicer words, but secondly there’s the whole idea of it – I wish I hadn’t dumped you, but since I did I hope you’re just as miserable as me.

Tom: I have to remind myself that Hurts aren’t anywhere near happy-clappy even at their most upbeat – but there was so much more in those tracks on the first album.

Tim: There was, yes, and I suppose this is darker than previously; having said all that, though, there’s still the music. The tune. And it’s lovely. Just, really lovely. I really can’t fault it. And that, I suppose, it what Theo and Adam do when they’re at their best – horribly downbeat songs with great music behind them. IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, GUYS.

Empire Of The Sun – Alive

“It’s been a good week for feel good songs, hasn’t it?”

Tim: Australian dance group you may remember from a couple of singles a few years back, but probably not; anyway, here’s their new single.

Tim: It’s been a good week for feel good songs, hasn’t it? Well, aside from that Snoop Crocodile tripe on Monday, anyway. We’ve had everybody dancing, everybody whistling, and now every minute is spent feeling alive. What a super feeling.

Tom: I appreciate the lyrics, but for whatever reason I’m just not getting that feeling from this particular song. There’s a lot of high-frequency hiss – I don’t think that’s the compression – and not much else of note that I can hear. Yes, the guitar after the middle eight is good, and that final chorus might get me jumping a bit, but there’s so much more that could be done here.

Tim: Hmm. There I will say simply: you’re a bit wrong. I suppose the hissiness is down to taste, but I think it’s a pretty good track, all round. There’s a slight issue with the lyrics similar to yesterday, but I’m not going to completely repeat myself, so I’ll just say that I for one would certainly rather feel alive than feel dead and leave it at that.

The vocals grate on me a bit in their harsher moments, but the dance-ness of it is pretty much undeniable – that chorus hits, everybody jumps up and down, there’s no real alternative, which I reckon is just fine. Who knows, they might even start singing along, which would be just lovely, as I do like a dancefloor that isn’t full of people who think they’re corpses.

Tom: So say we all.

Tim: Oh, and a strange thing: should you, for whatever reason, wish to hear an instrumental version of this song stretched to fill three hours rather than three minutes, you can.

Tom: I don’t know why anyone would want to do that.

Tim: No. But at least there’s the option to.

NONONO – Pumpin Blood

“How about some chirpy whistling?”

Tim: How about some chirpy whistling?

Tom: What is this, Bob Sinclar week?

Tim: We can call it that if you like, but it’d be slightly misleading.

Tom: Hmm. Okay, that’s not Bob Sinclair whistling. Is that an instrument or just a chorus of people? I can’t quite tell.

Tim: Huh – I’d assumed it was people, but now you mention it I suppose it might be. Whatever it is, it’s certainly a nice whistly bit.

Tom: Yes it is, but what about that chorus? When it broke out I almost cheered. It’s catchy, it’s happy, and it somehow manages to be joyous while still being all loud and distorted.

Tim: Great, isn’t it?

Tom: Yes, yes, yes. Shame about the verses and middle eight, really.

Tim: Little bit, yes – musically it’s up and down somewhat, but it’s the lyrics I think we should talk about. They might (all right, definitely should) lose some points for stating the bloody obvious*, but when it closes out with “and the whole wide world is whistling” it’s alright, because (a) the blatant lie sort of cancels out the earlier pointless truth and (b) it’s means the lovely whistling is coming back.

*I can’t decide whether I’d rather reply “Yes, I’m well aware I’m alive but thank you for pointing that out,” or “What, MY heart? Pumping BLOOD? OH GOD, HELP ME – HOW CAN WE STOP IT?!?!?!!”

Tom: I don’t care that it’s stating the bloody obvious – it’s an affirmation of being alive, and it works well.

Tim: So, music: alright, lyrics: 50/50, whistling: top notch. One and two halves out of three, that’s a good score.

Tom: I’m fairly sure that adds up to “two”.

Tim: That’s good maths. Well done.

Danny Saucedo – Todo El Mundo (Dancing In The Streets)

“That went a bit Bob Sinclar at the start, didn’t it?”

Tom: It’s NEW from Danny Saucedo, but as we’ve remarked before, genre-wise that could mean anything. Feel free, therefore, to be apprehensive as you click the play button.

Lyssna: Todo El Mundo (Dancing In The Streets)

Tom: Blimey. That went a bit Bob Sinclar at the start, didn’t it? And that “woah-oh-oh” middle eight could have come out of something like Love Generation.

Tim: Yes – genres all over the place, you see, and as you’ve heard, here there’s no need for any apprehension whatsoever. This is pretty much pure pop, with a slight latino tint on the top, and I like it. I can’t fault the music, mostly because it’s the first track we’ve had this year that has a proper summery vibe to it and I think it’s definitely time for that.

Tom: As I write this, the sun is streaming in through my window for what seems like the first time in a while: samba drums and a summery feeling seem exactly right about now.

Tim: And since we’ve got summer on our brain, it’s only right that everybody in the word should be dancing in the streets, so I can’t fault his logic in the lyrics. Minor quibble: the pre-chorus sounds like it wants to lead in to Man In The Mirror; that aside – no problems at all. Love it.

Tom: Agreed.

Snoop Lion feat. Miley Cyrus – Ashtrays and Heartbreaks

“A mess.”

Tim: Wait, “Snoop Lion”? What?

Tom: Oh, did you not see that story? Yep, he’s changed his name again. “Snoop Lion feat. Miley Cyrus”. Let’s just take a moment and realise how silly the music industry has gotten recently.

Tom: I don’t know what to think of this. It’s a mess of reverb and multi-tracked voices, as if the whole thing is being played back inside a large metal room.

Tim: NOISE. AWFUL.

Tom: Well, yes. By the time you’re about 60 or 90 seconds into the track, you’ve pretty much heard everything: if you’re going to try to milk a hook and chorus for this long, then you should at least have the decency to manage a key change or something. This just drones on a bit.

Tim: NOISILY. AWFULLY.

Tom: I’m still a bit stunned by the phrase “Snoop Lion feat. Miley Cyrus”, really.

Tim: I think I could with a lie down. And possibly an overdose.

Saturday Reject: Birgitta Haukdal – Meðal Andanna

“It turns into something of a Disney number.”

Tim: One of my favourites from the Icelandic final, and it’s like Eurovision from ten years ago has decided to pay us a visit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMX3bE5ZV30

Tom: When the instrumentation drops in – complete with twinkly chimes, no less! – it turns into something of a Disney number, if Disney liked synth-backed middle-eights and wind machines. Simple, major-key, with a style that seems almost aspirational – and a flowing white dress, too.

Tim: Yes, oh yes. Isn’t it lovely? It’s disappointing how few big schlager tracks we’ve had around this year, so it’s lovely to see that it really is alive and well in some quarters. Even with the Emperor from Star Wars being resurrected four times for backing singer duties, it’s a beautiful track.

Tom: I think perhaps they were going for more the “evil Disney crone” myself, but either way it does seem a bit odd.

Tim: The titles translates to “Among the Spirits”, and it’s basically about being lost in the darkness then finding her way home; I think she conveys that well enough, especially in the triumphant post-key change (THERE’S A KEY CHANGE!) final chorus.

Tom: Told you. Icelandic-Disney soundtrack.

Tim: It wouldn’t stand a chance of winning, mind, so from Iceland’s perspective it’s right that it didn’t go through, but, man, sometimes I pine for the days when Eurovision was all about the key change.

Tom: You and me both.

Moya – A Little More Love

“It’s fair to say this’ll be a hit with the Radio 2 audience.”

Tom: So she’s supported Mick Hucknall, and she will be supporting Rod Stewart. It’s fair to say this’ll be a hit with the Radio 2 audience.

Tom: And indeed: soulful female vocals over a piano introduction, inoffensive synth work in the background, lovely positive message.

Tim: Hmm. During that build-up that started at around 45 seconds, I was hoping it would really crash into something. It sort of did, but I must confess to feeling a tad deflated.

Tom: I can’t find anything wrong with this, to be honest, “a bit middle-of-the-road” isn’t really a criticism when levelled at something that really is middle-of-the-road.

Tim: True – mind you, similar logic doesn’t stop people criticising One Direction for being too commercial, or Jedward for being a disgrace to humanity.

Tom: It’s nice, but it does make me want to listen to something shouty.

Bastille – Laura Palmer

“Still bloody good.”

Tim: The follow-up to Pompeii, and one of the stronger tracks off their album.

Tom: And that’s saying something – having heard it properly for the first time recently, it’s a bloody strong album.

Tim: There’s a proper video here, but it features one of the most annoying “you can’t record this” cuts I’ve ever heard, so we won’t watch that; we’ll have this, from the EP the song was originally released on about a year ago.

Tim: It’s not quite as brilliant as Pompeii was, but it’s still bloody good, and it’s got most of the same elements to it – good verses with decent instrumentation, a big hook in the chorus, lead singer Dan’s recognisable voice. (HISTORY LESSON: the band is called Bastille because he was born on Bastille Day, 14th July.)

Tom: I could have phrased this question before, but: who had this voice before him? In the same way that Neil Tennant has the same voice as Al Stewart, I mean. If this had been released five years ago, whose voice would everyone have ‘recognised’ as ‘that indie singer’? He’s got a bit of Scouting for Girls about him, but I don’t think that’s the right answer.

Tim: Good question, and I think the answer you’re looking for is Matthew from The Wombats. But let’s not distract ourselves: really, the only reason this isn’t as good as Pompeii is the fact that that had two great hooks and this only has one; “not having a second hook” is not a crime I would level at any other band, so I think we can let this slip. Bastille are quickly becoming my favourite ‘authentic’ band, and songs like this are speeding that process along nicely.

Tom: Agreed.

Nicky Romero & NERVO – Like Home

MORE.

Tom: Piano dance with vocals. A cracking intro. It’s going to take a long time to build. A very long time. Long enough that you’ll want it to be properly BANGING when it kicks in. And…

Tom: OH YES DOES IT DELIVER. For a few seconds. And then it stops.

Tim: I don’t know – you’ve got a decent twenty seconds in there, which is a fairly standard post-chorus, especially when you’ve got a motorbike on top of it.

Tom: I have no idea what to say about this one. It’s nearly all build, slowly edging its way towards being massive, but never staying there for nearly long enough.

Tim: I suppose you’re right – to keep people dancing it does need more.

Tom: This desperately needs a remix. It desperately needs MORE BASS.

Tim: Or just looping that last minute a couple of times.

Tom: Hell, even a dubstep breakdown would do well here – they’ve gone out of fashion again now, though. It just needs MORE.