Ariana Grande – One Last Time

“Pretty clear that this is the fifth single from the same album.”

Tim: Queen of mid-2010s R&B, Ariana recently brought us this, with its chorus straight out of a 2003 Ministry of Sound compilation.

Tom: Okay, I’ll be honest: I saw this, and then didn’t sent it to you because it seemed REALLY DULL. And you’ve nailed the reason: it’s from ten years ago.

Tim: Thoughts about the video, in chronological order: well that’s some interesting science; “Look, can you get that camera out of my face? Or at least point it at that Fiat logo for a second or two? THANK YOU”; I really want that hoodie; and that’s a LOT of effort to go through just for a quickie under a pretty sky.

Tom: They’ve spent a heck of a lot of money on that video, that’s for sure. Nice job panning to the sky every time they needed to hide a cut, mind.

Tim: But anyway, the music, though to be honest (and in possible alignment with you DULL comment) I have less to say about it. Admittedly the verses are standard stuff (still enjoyable, mind), but the chorus is wonderful and could easily have been found on Cascada’s debut and still brilliant album Everytime We Touch.

Tom: But it’d be an album track. It’ll do well, of course, but it’s pretty clear that this is the fifth single from the same album.

Tim: Perhaps true, but regardless I am confidently stating: great track (though I’m disappointed the studio version doesn’t also end with the sound of a comet hitting the planet).

Tom: And I’m confidently stating: MEDIOCRE.

Sigma feat. Ella Henderson – Glitterball

“YES. MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE.”

Tom: A massive European smash with their Kanye-less Kanye remix “Nobody To Love”; a follow-up number one — and then a bit of a misfire, although even that got to Number 12. How’s their next one going to do?

Tom: YES. MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE.

Tim: Ooh, yes, that’ll do nicely.

Tom: I’ve said before that I’m a sucker for string sections, and this one’s got a brilliant one. Match that with a great synth line, a drum and bass percussion track straight from the textbook, and an astonishingly good vocal. If this doesn’t crack the Top 10, I’ll be very surprised.

Tim: Likewise – a fantastic dance track with everything you could ask for.

Tom: Bit of a weak ending is my only real criticism: that seems to be in vogue these days, though.

Tim: Also in vogue would be my disagreeing with you each time that’s brought up – more a coda than a standard STOP, and I like it.

Tom: It still baffles me, mind: this has been on YouTube for a couple of weeks, it’s getting airplay already — and yet, the public can’t buy it until the end of July. Lots of people will have pre-ordered it, sure; and yes, that may push it to the top of the charts that week. But it hardly seems right: does nobody pirate tracks like this in the intervening two months?!

Tim: Apparently not it would seem, but it’s hardly unusual – the lyric video for that amazing Rachel Platten track we reviewed got put up almost a year ago, but it’s not out here until 17th July. No idea what’s going on.

Charlotte Perrelli – Bröllopsvalsen

“This does seem a little… too much.”

Tim: Or, to put it Englishly, Wedding Waltz. And, much as with yesterday’s “Brinner i bröstet”, it has exactly the sound you’d associate with its title.

Tom: Good grief, it is actually a waltz! There aren’t many pop tracks in anything other than 4/4 time.

Tim: Yes, I like that – whole lot more interesting. It is entirely gentle, entirely happy, entirely waltzy; some might say dull, because even by non-banger standards there’s little to get excited about here, but it is a genuinely lovely sense of either “sit back and relax” if you’re listening at home, or “stand up and walk over to that special someone” if you’re at a wedding or some other such romantic occasion.

Tom: Something I’ve learned as friends get married: I never get emotional during wedding ceremonies, but I do during first dances. This, though, does seem a little… too much. A bit too cloying. A bit too try-hard. It’s a song about a wedding, not a song that could be played at a wedding, and I think that’s what twitches it over the edge to “a bit much”.

Tim: It’s not often I’d agree with you about too much emotional stuff, but here I think you might be right. Also, this song reminded me of how sad it is that even in this enlightened age there are, as you pointed out, still so few songs in waltz time, and that then immediately prompted me to play Queen Of My Heart, because why wouldn’t you?

Tom: I’ll bet that some couple, somewhere, has accidentally used that as a first dance song.

Tim: Given that I Will Always Love You generally tops the “songs to play at your wedding” lists, I would be astounded if you’re wrong.

Danny Saucedo feat. Malcolm B – Brinner i bröstet

“SOARING is basically what it’s all about”

Tim: It’s been a couple of years, but here’s a new one from Danny, and I’ll warn you that it does have a rap in it; on the other hand, it’s got a nice piano bit underneath it so it’s not too bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_P95fVorec

Tim: And doesn’t that just have some marvellous qualities to it?

Tom: It does, but I’m still trying to get over the dancing in that video. That’s some of the oddest choreography I’ve seen in pop music. It’s like someone put sign language, Beyoncé’s Single Ladies, and drunk interpretative dance into a blender. Anyway, yes, the music bit.

Tim: SOARING is basically what it’s all about for the most part – that electric guitar in the intro, for example, or the backing OHHHHs in the choruses, or his vocal into each chorus, or the strings pretty much throughout.

Tom: And you’re not wrong about that rap either: that was pretty good, even perhaps going towards singing at the end.

Tim: It seems weird to describe it as inspiring when I barely understand a word of it, though the title translates to “Burning in the Chest” which, yeah, sounds about right actually.

Tom: Take some antacids, mate, you’ll be fine.

Tim: A song about massive emotions, providing exactly the impressive sound that they deserve. LOVE this.

David Hasselhoff – True Survivor

Tim: What is this please.

Tom: We’re about a month late to the party on this one, but since the movie that it’s from was released the other day — and yes, there’s a story behind that but I’m not going into it — let’s talk about this, deliberate VHS-tracking effects and all.

Tom: It’s a parody soundtrack to a parody film, but here’s the thing: I don’t reckon it’s actually any good.

Tim: Hmm. See, my thought was “it’s not actually as entirely terrible as I though it would be.”

Tom: The trouble with overly-complicated film parodies like this is that they seem to rely on references rather than actual jokes. Yep, it’s David Hasselhoff! Yep, it looks like it’s off an 80s video! Oh wow, they made it sound like the 80s too! Now… now can we have some decent gags?

Tim: An excellent point; I don’t think I can bring myself to watch the film to find out if that’s the case, though.

Tom: This track’s the same. Just because you’ve made it sound like the 80s doesn’t make it a good song. Is it trying to be? I don’t know.

Tim: I’ve a feeling it actually is trying to be, because there are moments in there that aren’t bad – the pre-chorus, in particular (though bizarrely removed for the second chorus), actually seems like a lead-in a decent section; it isn’t, as it turns out, but it’s a clear indication that they were trying.

Tom: But if it’s not, then this should be a 20-second joke, not a full and disappointing full record that has, bizarrely, been released through Universal Music and put on David Hassellhoff’s official VEVO account.

Tim: His…his what now?

Tom: No, I didn’t know he had one either.

Saturday Flashback: Taylor Swift – Love Story (1989 Edition)

“An interesting take on it”

Tim: So we all know and adore the original, of course, but I was at Radio 1’s Big Weekend *CLANG* —

Tom: Gig-dropping again there, Tim?

Tim: You don’t mind, do you? — where I saw Taylor Swift sing this, an updated version.

Tim: It came with a nice explanatory intro about how she came across Romeo & Juliet at school and loved all of it except for [SPOILER alert] the whole suicide business, and so she changed the ending, an act which literary scholars would argue the merits of for possibly entire minutes.

Tom: I’m just going to take a moment to appreciate that last clause.

Tim: Regardless, in the six years or so since then her style has changed quite a lot, so she’s done a version which would sit nicely on her 1989 album. And, well, obviously it doesn’t match up to the greatness of the first, but it’s an interesting take on it.

Tom: I disagree: I think this is better. I mean, for some reason, the sound engineer’s put the backing vocals up way too loud, but as it’s live, we can forgive that. This is an amazingly good arrangement — it brings it up to date, it fits her new style, and it replaces the overly cloying instrumental. Yes.

Tim: Fair point, I suppose, and if it was a new song I heard now I’d probably love it; as it is, though, the overly cloying instrumental is part of what brought the ridiculously syrupy original’s charm, and it kind of doesn’t sound right without it. It’s still very good, but it wouldn’t take the same place in my heart that the original did, especially now the key change has lost its sense of whacking you in the ear with an aural frying pan.

Tom: More like this, please.

Tim: Yes – it is something that I’d kind of like other artists to do every now and again. We could have Britney’s Baby One More Time sung in the style of Toxic, perhaps, or Eric Saade’s Manboy sung in the style of Girl From Sweden, though if I think a bit actually both of those would be terrible ideas so let’s move quickly on.

Tom: Okay, so when I say “more like this”, I mean “more artists who’ve massively improved their style doing this”.

Tim: Sensible caveat, so this one’s alright, as an observation if nothing else.

Avicii – Waiting For Love

“There’s a typo in the SECOND WORD. How, please?”

Tim: Avicii brought farmhouse music to the world; Avicii will now take it away, because he is done with it.

Tom: Really? See, this is still to his formula: introduction on a traditional instrument, guest vocalist who gets no credit at all, and only an intermittent bit that’s actually danceable.

Tim: Now, we could talk about the music, but it’s basically standard Avicii going back to before he discovered the countryside, perfectly serviceable stuff and there’s not much else to say really.

Tom: Other than that main melody is bloody close to the chorus of Toca’s Miracle? Let’s gloss over that.

Tim: So let’s discuss that video. First, despite the clearly MASSIVE amount of effort that’s been put into that, there’s a typo in the SECOND WORD. How, please?

Tom: You’d be surprised what sort of typo can slip by a designer.

Tim: Oof, blimey. But secondly, and mostly, it makes the music seem like a soundtrack. But so what? Most people just hear the track? NO. YouTube’s a VERY big player in the streaming industry and the way a lot of people consume music, and watching this feels a bit like watching Steamboat Willie or some such.

Tom: You say that, but I reckon they have it on in a background tab, or gaze at the comments instead unless there’s a spectacular video. And what’s wrong with Steamboat Willie, anyway?

Tim: Oh, nothing at all – I’d just be surprised if anyone had watched it purely for the music. This, though, pretty much is a spectacular video.

Sure, the music’s there and is good, but that big dance section at the end, that’s not a dance section – that’s an accompaniment to a happy ending. I’d dance to it, sure, but I wouldn’t buy it, or possibly even listen to it on Spotify, because it’s now all about that video.

Tom: Huh. Okay, I see your logic there.

Tim: To be honest, this is a problem that’s pretty much caused itself – if YouTube’s a main way of listening to music, music has to look good in the video – so I’m not sure what the way to solve it would be. On the other hand, I’m really just hear to criticise from the sidelines rather than provide solutions, so SORT IT OUT PLEASE GUYS.

Eric Saade – Girl From Sweden

“Oh, Eric.”

Tom: Straight away, I’ve got Ash’s “Girl from Mars” in my head, and I just know this isn’t going to be as good.

Tim: No – I will warn you in advance, this is a fairly awful song, but it’s also slightly enjoyable so have a listen and see which side you fall on.

Tom: I… huh. You’re right. That’s not a good song, but it’s so well-produced that it’s difficult to realise that.

Tim: So there’s some horrible messing around with his voice, no idea why, an unnecessary yet blatant call back in the lyrics to a previous song, and a remarkably unapologetic level of xenophobia.

Tom: Not to mention really terrible lyrics, some full-on bragging about his own attractiveness that frankly just grates, and a bizarre “yup” before the chorus as if he’s agreeing with himself.

Tim: AND YET, I still don’t mind it all that much, because – you know, I don’t know why. I want to say the whistling’s alright, but actually there’s not a lot of that, and if the only enjoyable part of a song is, what, forty seconds in total, then the ‘slightly’ really is incredibly slight.

Tom: There are some moments of brilliance into here: the instrumentation in the pre-chorus is very, very good, for example, and that introduction’s pretty damn promising. But the rest of it…

Tim: You know what, I’ll close by rewriting my introduction somewhat: this is a really awful song. Oh, Eric.

A*Base – All That She Wants

“Roughly what the song would be if Ace of Base themselves were recording it right now.”

Tim: For their second release, A*Base (or more likely their management) have chosen one of Ace of Base’s actual hits – I think they must have read my request from last time.

Tom: This is the first time, I think, that I’ve really cared about what a tribute-and-covers band is doing to the original artist’s tracks. I was too young to “get” A*Teens and ABBA: but Ace of Base was music I grew up with.

Tim: And, well…

Tim: …it’s actually really good.

Tom: It is as well. I wasn’t expecting that.

Tim: The original could roughly be described as reggae-infused pop; this could roughly be described as techno-infused pop, and I think it works really, really well.

Tom: I always thought that All That She Wants was one of the weaker Ace of Base singles, but this does a pretty good job with it nevertheless. There’s some counterpoint that wasn’t there before in the chorus, and the broken percussion works too.

Tim: It is, in fact, roughly what the song would be if Ace of Base themselves were recording it right now, and from a teen tribute act I reckon that’s entirely what we should be asking for. A great original song with a great refresh for modern audiences.

Tom: I think I’d be happier if it was some sort of official remix, with the original vocals or, better yet, the original vocalist. In a world where there are a hundred half-assed cash-in cover versions on Spotify for every popular track, this doesn’t stand out enough. It’s good, but it’s not spectacular.

Tim: And now I really, really want them to do Life is a Flower.

Tom: Now that, I’d like to hear.

Icona Pop – Emergency

“Because Electro Velvet couldn’t make it sound bad enough, Icona Pop had their own go.”

Tim: So, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but electro swing is really big right now?

Tom: Five bloody points. I know it wasn’t a winner, but only five bloody points.

Tom: I don’t think that’s electroswing. That’s just a poorly-chosen, repetitive sample: electroswing requires… well, something with some actual swing to it, but generally some actual, skilful remixing. But yes, okay: in the same way that dubstep is “anything with a wub in it”, electroswing is now “any 20s sample”. Fine.

Tim: Yeah, and possibly because Electro Velvet couldn’t make it sound bad enough, Icona Pop come along and had their own go.

And bloody hell, I wish I’d never pushed play on that, because WHY CAN’T I UNHEAR IT? That UTTERLY INSIPID two-bar sax loop, it’s just HORRIBLE. I eat my dinner, it’s there. I watch TV, it’s there. I close my eyes, it’s there. I try to think back to all the amazing stuff I heard at Radio 1’s Big Weekend, AND I CAN’T HEAR IT BECAUSE THAT SAXOPHONE IS THERE.

Tom: That’s like the gig equivalent of name-dropping there, Tim.

Tim: I KNOW! Isn’t it great? Yes, yes it was.

Tom: I can’t disagree though, it’s a terrible track.

Tim: Moral of the story? Electro swing should be BANNED and ILLEGAL and ERASED FROM HISTORY.